Be On Your Guard, Love
by Bailieboro
Summary: Loving can be an indictable offense punishable by death...continuing the Rejected by Royalty series.
1. Chapter 1

**BE ON YOUR GUARD, LOVE - Sequel to Raining Cats and Lovers  
><strong>Camelot: a kingdom where loving can be a punishable offense. <strong>**

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><p><strong>CHAPTER 1 : A KNIGHTS' HONOUR<strong>

Arthur lay in bed thinking. He was never too sure how much his closest knights had fathomed about Merlin. The two of them had been extremely careful as Gaius had spoken to each of them about the need for discretion. Arthur found it very difficult to have Merlin with him and not be able to touch him. If anything, he was touching him less in public, teasing became a non-tactile sport. Much less than it would have been before. He no longer shoved him, jostled him or put his arm across his shoulders. He hadn't cuffed him across the back of the head in public since their return. Every contact, even minor such as handing him his reins, generated a surge of electricity.

In a way, he really missed the casual physical touching but, everything else was so new to him and he wasn't yet comfortable to resume their old ways in public. He also knew Merlin was likely to get carried away at the slightest provocation. He really loved him for that but he didn't intend to provide a situation in which both of them would be hard pressed not to act or extremely embarrassed if they did and were seen. Not so much by his closest knights who he was sure had long ago realised his special feelings for Merlin. He had a premonition of Merlin arriving in the middle of the training field wanting to give him a little hug before he handed him his bow; to kiss his hand as he handed him his sword. It could never be. Yesterday, he had managed to steal a kiss in an alcove off the main stairwell but it was unsatisfactory as it was of such a fleeting nature.

Now, he realised the luxury of their first few days together. One day, they might have the freedom to express their emotions without looking over their shoulders but...

He tried not to make too much eye contact or even look at Merlin but it made his heart ache not feeling safe enough to return Merlin's grins, as he was quite relaxed with the whole situation. One day, he thought, we will be our old selves again in front of our friends but at the moment we have to be careful.

Surely, one day would offer an opportunity for them to be together long enough to steal a kiss or a hug outside the confines of their room. Gaius had allowed them a few minutes alone when they had been in his chambers but in a castle of this size, people were everywhere and many thrived on gossip.

Late one evening, there was a knock on the chamber door! Arthur automatically said, "Who is it?

"It's Lancelot Sire."

Without thinking, Arthur said, "Come in!"

"Sorry to disturb you so late, Arthur, but the messengers are just back from Aquae Sulis. There was no sign of a disruption and the King's man said that he will be in Camelot himself in four days. The King asked to be notified upon their return. Do you want to disturb him now or leave it till morning?

Arthur had only just caught his breath and hadn't a clue where Merlin had got to. They were going to have to take precautions against this happening again.

Yawning, to feign just waking up, Arthur, stretched, scratched his head and said, "No, Lancelot, I'll tell him myself before tomorrow's Council meeting. Thanks for letting me know."

Lancelot turned and said, "Goodnight Sire."

He took a step to leave and on second thought, continued with a chuckle and a grin at Arthur, "Goodnight, Merlin!"

As the door shut, Arthur heard a muffled 'shit' from under the bed.

One slightly dusty, Merlin appeared. He sneezed! "Arthur my neckerchief, is on the pillow and my clothes are on the floor! Do you think that's how Lancelot knew."

Arthur had his doubts that the neckerchief and clothes were the only clue. "Well, if you will leave your clothes in full view, what do you expect?"

Merlin looked on the floor and saw Arthur's clothes dumped there not so neatly either. "But wouldn't it have been funny if it hadn't been me but someone else?"

Arther glared at him, "Well, I can assure you that if it were someone else, I wouldn't be in this bed with him."

"But it might have been a lady..."

"If everyone is as restless, clingy and demanding as you are in bed, the chances of my having energy for any liaisons is pretty slim."

Suddenly, Merlin's face fell. "Am I restless, clingy and demanding in bed, Arthur?"

"No, Merlin, you're just what the doctor ordered!" He blew him a kiss. "But listen, we're going to have to get some cleaners in, if every time someone comes to the door, you take a header for the floor. I thought you told me that one of the last things you were going to do each night was to make sure that the doors were locked and the main door barred."

"I was but, Arthur, we hadn't yet reached the last thing at night, had we? It's only evening..."

Arthur playfully swatted him but missed, "Merlin, you're not getting back into this bed until you get some of that dust and those cobwebs off you. If you kept the floor under the bed clean, we wouldn't be having this conversation."

Merlin brushed the dust off his elbows and knees as best he could and pulled the cobwebs out of his hair. He got a linen towel and carefully washed the dust off his body. "Yes, O Mighty One!" He said as he moved to slip between the blankets.

"Go and bar the door first."

"...but my feet are cold!"

"I am the Prince, you are a lackey, do as you're told..."

As Merlin padded across the flagstones, he murmured in a stage whisper, "Gawaine, he doesn't love me anymore. Where are you?" He dropped the bar and turned.

Arthur said, "Dream On, Merlin!"

"Incoming!" yelled Merlin and ran, jumped, rolled and landed. Luckily, Arthur was prepared and had moved to the other side of the bed.

"When we were camping, I had been looking forward to a real bed, hadn't you? Just think when I am in your bad books and I'm banished to the antechamber or worse back at Gaius's, you will have to come to me. If I'm annoying enough for a long time, you'll see the need for me to have a comfortable bed. And it wouldn't hurt you to get a nice bed for Gaius as well. You really owe him, Arthur!"

Merlin bounced again, to demonstrate what a nice bed could do.

"You do realize that this is a royal bed, Merlin, one day it will be prized."

"Because we slept in it?"

Arthur didn't bother rising to the bait, he just held Merlin where he was and decided to show him another use for a royal bed besides a trampoline.

The room was lit by the firelight which made stuttering sounds and cast soft shadows on the furniture and walls. Arthur lay with his hands clasped behind his head and Merlin snuggled near his heart.

Merlin said, "Ta-dum, ta-dum, ta-dum, ta-dum..."

"What in heaven's name are you doing?" Arthur finally had to say.

"I'm talking to your heart. It has a very limited vocabulary but a really steady rhythm. Let's do something to increase its rhythm.

Arthur could only laugh. When he thought of all the years, he had watched Merlin and longed for him, he had not realised what a fun person he would be to love.

"Come on, Arthur. As you just said, "I am the lackey, you are a Prince, do as you're told..."

Arthur turned toward him and true to his promise Merlin managed to get his heart beat up to a healthy active rate within minutes.

Finally, the fire burned down and nothing disturbed Arthur's dreams. Merlin lay with his hands clasped behind his head and turned to glance at Arthur. He smiled, pulled his hands under the blankets and put his arms around Arthur snuggling into him and thought, 'Not too many people have their own live prince to keep them warm at night'.


	2. Chapter 2

**BE ON YOUR GUARD, LOVE - Sequel to Raining Cats and Lovers  
>Camelot: A kingdom where loving can be a punishable offense.<strong>

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><p><strong>CHAPTER 2 : A HUNTING, WE WILL GO <strong>

Merlin hated hunting with a passion even if he were riding. He hated the idea of killing things and getting enjoyment out of it. Anyway, what was enjoyable standing holding two horses while his lord and master played hide and go seek with bunny rabbits?

He also didn't appreciate having the carcasses hung from his saddle, which meant that he had to wash down his horse, sticky from blood. Helping gut deer and boar prior to putting them on the pack horses was also not to his liking. He hated bush-whacking and dragging carcasses to the horses. One good thing though, none of the meat was wasted and should an animal be shot and stumble off injured with a broken arrow shaft protruding from it, someone tracked it down until it could be killed. Although, as an observer and not an actual hunter, he had noticed, that many of the prince's guests were less inclined to worry about wounded animals. This meant that the castle staff had to be more vigilant.

He really did hate hunting but sadly he knew that the love of his life, lived to hunt!

So today, he was up early getting Arthur's breakfast so they could be out by dawn and catch all those unsuspecting bunnies!

"Have you any preference as to what you will wear today, Sire?" He tacked on, the sire just to show his disproval.

Arthur half dressed, chuckled, "Merlin, if you don't want to go, I can always find another servant to spend the day with me in the woods; riding shoulder to shoulder; watching out for each other; sitting side by side as we have lunch; enjoying a day outside in this beautiful weather. You could go to the kitchens and help peel vegetables..."

Merlin had moved slowly behind him and as he finished talking, he'd leaned over whispering "This is how I like to hunt, Arthur!" Then he tickled his ear with his tongue. Arthur spun around but Merlin was too fast for him and reached the door first. He opened it and sprang out backwards into the corridor right into Lancelot and Leon.

A half-dressed Arthur came barging through the door right into Merlin, saying "I'll show you how to hunt tonight, my love!" He stopped dead, staring at Lancelot and Leon, his face burning red.

Lancelot grinned at Arthur, laughing, "Happy to see it's us and not the King, with half of his council, Sire?"

But Leon smiled and took it one further by saying, "Practicing hunting maneuvers, are we, Sire?" Lancelot laughed and gave Leon a congratulatory pat on the back, turning to wink at Merlin before continuing down the corridor.

"I'll get them for that!" Arthur said but then he forgot as he returned to chase Merlin and captured him. Holding him captive, he retaliated by first, nibbling his ear.

Merlin's knees went weak and it was many minutes before Arthur even thought about dressing...

Feeling, safe, satisfied and secure in his love, Arthur turned to Merlin. "You know, Merlin, I can name three people in the castle who know about us; Gaius, Lancelot and Leon. I have my suspicions about Sir Rupert and Geoffrey but they can be trusted. Those five and..." He realised that once Gawaine arrived, he would be the sixth.

Arthur had often watched Merlin in Gawaine's company and realised that there was a link between them. Merlin seemed completely at ease with him and seemed genuinely happy to be with him. At one point, Arthur had seen him as competition but one night in Cave Two, Merlin's shocked reaction to such a query had dispelled that thought immediately. Arthur felt quite secure in knowing that he was the only one for Merlin.

"Knowing your track record for keeping secrets, Merlin, I would surmise, that Gawaine will know about us within ten minutes of your laying eyes on him."

Merlin spluttered, "Arthur that's not fair, I try to keep things secret but they just seem to slip out. Better make that five to be safe!"

There were three words for Gawaine as far as Merlin was concerned, so he continued, "He's fun, trustworthy and courageous and... he's the best swordsman, I know!" For that remark, Merlin received a not too gentle rap on his head, "Ow! Arthur, how come you can be so gentle one moment, and so rough the next?"

"I've had lots of practice living with you over the years, that's why. It's a talent, I have! Gawaine is all those things but also a heavy-drinker, impulsive... and the second best swordsman in the kingdom! But I trust him and although it will be good seeing him again, we have to look out for ourselves first..."

Arthur always seemed a little tense when Merlin talked about Gawaine, sensing that he said, "You know, Arthur, that I don't love him, don't you? I like Gawaine, he makes me laugh, I feel safe with him and it's great being hugged by him. But I love you, you make me laugh, I feel safe with you and there is nothing bar nothing, as wonderful as being hugged by you."

With a contended smile, Merlin raised himself on his elbows to give Arthur a little kiss. He noticed the tear filled eyes but made no comment. Arthur was his, mind, body and soul. Something Gawaine, as much as he liked him would never approximate.

Arthur thought as long as Merlin loved him, everything was right with the world. He still had worries though, as castle staff thrive on gossip, both good and bad. Many people, Arthur knew, would be pleased to see them happy, especially Merlin as he was a favourite throughout the castle. However, there were still people who saw gossip as a way of rising in the ranks. He didn't feel that anyone would go directly to the king but Merlin and he would have to be sensible and be vigilant. A half dressed Prince chasing his servant into the corridor had been stupid. But sometimes in the heat of the moment, you make decisions which can come back to haunt you.

He must have dozed off. He woke suddenly seeing the sun had reached the fireplace. What was he doing, it was late morning? Merlin and he had still to leave their chambers. He looked at the head beside him on the pillow, Merlin was less dressed that he had been when he had run out of the room and he wasn't much better.

He poked his sleeping partner in the ribs, "Merlin, it's late we missed the opportunity to go hunting."

"I'm quite happy to hunt in bed," was all he got as a reply as Merlin shifted towards him.

"Merlin, get off me!" He managed to sit up but was pulled over when Merlin managed to get his arm around him. "Rabbits, on your right, Sire! Shall we take advantage of the situation?"

Merlin smiled, it was now close to noon and Arthur had a very happy smile on his face. "No bunny rabbits, to clean, no blood to wipe off his horse, no standing around!" Merlin told Arthur as he cuddled into him, "This was the best morning of hunting that I have had in ages. How about you Arthur?"

Arthur smiled saying, "You're right, but now I'm hungry so you can get up and go down to the kitchen to see if you can hunt us something for lunch." Arthur lay back watching Merlin get up, get dressed and leave the room mumbling to himself about equality of jobs, and a good swift kick. He was really fascinated by him and he thanked his lucky stars for the day that Merlin had arrived in Camelot.

He got up, stretched and went to find something to wear. He really was hungry. Maybe they could go fishing this afternoon or wait until dusk to do some hunting. He'd think about it but for now...

Merlin came in placing one platter on the table, realising that Arthur was suitably dressed, he returned to the door motioning two of the kitchen staff to come in, one carrying a second larger platter and the other pitchers of cider and water. He took the second platter asking the servant to remove the remnants of the prince's breakfast. Both servants returned to the door, saying, "Sire," bowed and left.

As Merlin opened the windows even further, the room was filled with the sounds of autumn. Geese could be heard as they flew in formation, readying for their return trip South. Children were playing in the lower town and their voices were echoing against the castle walls.

Arthur hearing one of his Master Knights giving commands; walked over and looked out, a party of young Squires in Training, were leaving the courtyard, their brown cloaks billowing, as they followed the two red-cloaked knights, all the horses' hooves echoing.

His morning workout had made him hungry. Merlin was obviously feeling the same as he had excelled in his luncheon selection. A broth, two choices of cold pie, fish and fowl, an assortment of vegetables, cheeses, seasonal berries, thin dried bread and a stoneware pitcher of what Arthur assumed was cider.

Camelot was a blessed kingdom to live in, food was plentiful, they were at peace and he smiled fondly at the young man who had been with him for years but who was now making Arthur happier than he had ever been in his life.


	3. Chapter 3

**CHAPTER 3 : PLAYING BY THE RULES**

As he wandered around the castle during a regular day of activities, Arthur suddenly found himself considering innocent places that seemed to him even in this hostile environment, possible locations for a couple of stolen minutes of snuggling.

Not, that he was often in the stable but that would be a real temptation, if they were there alone, the smell of the hay and the company of horses. He had to laugh as he could hear Merlin complaining, 'but Arthur I used to work here'. To which, he would want to teasingly reply, 'Ah, yes! But since when, Merlin, have you ever considered this work...?' And then he'd show him the chores, he'd had in mind.

The armoury, with its racks of lances and swords, would also lend well to a dalliance or two, if they were not interrupted. He envisioned them in the Council Chamber; that is when the Council wasn't sitting. The Throne Room was also calling to him. Sitting on the King's throne with Merlin on his lap, he'd give a new meaning to sovereign coalitions.

Staying in the courtyard, he saw another great possibility, the main balcony overlooking the courtyard. Standing to the left and slightly behind his father, he would take Merlin in his arms and give him a kiss for all those gathered below to see and there would be an uproar of cheering. He imagined the look on his father's face, not understanding why the crowd was so appreciative when he hadn't said anything. He would turn to his son, who would by then be standing there innocently, with his manservant two steps behind him, eyes slightly downcast as was befitting his station. Uther would turn questioningly to Gaius who would smile benignly, raising his eyebrows.

Arthur thought, 'Stop it! You're letting your imagination take over your waking hours. Stop this before it becomes so important that you might inadvertently act upon it.' Then he saw the flight of steps from the courtyard and farther above the battlements. He began to worry as he was always telling Merlin to be careful and here he had his own fantasies. He hoped that no one had noticed him so obviously moonstruck, in the mid-afternoon. He chuckled to himself, 'Moonstruck, Merlin moonlight cave...' and he was off again lost in a fantasy. Suddenly, he pulled himself back into the world of the mentally balanced, that hadn't been a fantasy that had been a reality!

He needed to see Merlin now. Making his way back to his chambers, he went up a flight of stairs and could see the training field through the window. He noticed that the staff were erecting banners and the little tournament tents. Amid the smell of the horses, the dust of the jousting slips and the general throng of humanity, Merlin and he, hidden safely away in a little red and white tent with a pennant on the top, surrounded by armour, could... 'Back to reality,' he thought!

Merlin's former bedroom was old hat at this point as Gaius was always accommodating, having an important message to run if ever Merlin and he should find themselves together in his chambers. Always, thoughtfully reminding them to lock the door!

One warm afternoon later that week, found the two of them, on the lawn above the battlements, sitting against the sun drenched stone walls of the palace, they were enjoying a little break from Arthur's usual schedule. They sat within touching distance but no too close as to raise suspicions, Arthur decided it was time, to lay down some basic rules.

Well, he would make an attempt but he knew Merlin would be up for arguing every one of them. He was however, determined to give it a try...

"Firstly! Location, Location, Location," Arthur started trying to impress upon both of them that their private locations were limited. "We must above anything else, keep this rule! It is paramount!"

"Oh! But Arthur, we could break it sometimes, couldn't we? I know somewhere..."

At this point, Arthur realised that he would have loved to have been able to lie on the grass, to sit under a tree, to lounge on the front steps with Merlin, maybe with an arm across his shoulder, just talking and holding hands. Just being a normal couple, nothing too special in that but he knew in Camelot, open displays of affection between men were forbidden unless it was the jocular, noisy, congratulations and tom foolery by which the knights regularly regaled themselves. And that was knight to knight, not crown prince to manservant! Mind you, he had noticed that Merlin was included in much of the jocularity as well. He, Arthur was the one who had to hold back.

"Secondly! Neither of us will venture out, unless we are suitably dressed. No barging into the corridor as if it were an extension of our chambers."

Merlin's response was, "But Arthur that's not fair, you're stronger than me and sometimes get really carried away and there is nowhere else to go, to make you stop!"

Arthur smiled, Merlin had hit that nail right on the head.

"Thirdly! You will always have some of your personal affects in the antechamber to show that you sleep there. Tidily placed clothes and things, not like the floor of our bedchamber," Arthur added.

"Tut, tut! That would be telling a lie. What would Nanny-What's-Her-Name say about that?"

Arthur just glared at him...

"Fourthly! No more yelling, 'Come in!' without thinking twice, when someone knocks on the door. That could be disastrous." He started laughing, recalling Lancelot's entrance and Merlin's almost simultaneous exit under the bed.

Merlin blushed, "It wasn't that funny and anyway, it was your fault because you told him, that he could enter..."

"Number Five! Merlin, you must try to curb that grin which seems to announce to all and sundry that you are well satisfied with your current position." This rule hurt Arthur, as he felt that there was nothing more touching than to catch the eye of the one you loved and be rewarded with an open loving smile.

"If I'm happy, I want the world to know. Anyway, you always say that I am a grinning idiot, so why is it any different now?"

"Because Merlin, _I_ know, that 'an idiot grinning' has absolutely nothing to do with that grin!"

Merlin said, "Oh.." and blushed deliciously Arthur felt.

"Number Six! Any horseplay will be kept under control especially if it is within the castle grounds, allowing it to escalate could be dangerous." And he wasn't just thinking of physical injury.

"I wouldn't hurt you, Arthur."

"That's not exactly, what I meant!"

Merlin's face broke into a knowing grin, "Oh, you mean that..."

"Number Seven! No extended close contacts such as back patting and shoulder holding and intentional bumping. No hugging in public."

"But..." Merlin interrupted, "if Gawaine can hug people in public, why can't I, hug you, Arthur?"

This would take some convincing. "Firstly, Gawaine is a knight, not a manservant. Secondly, his hugs are massive bear hugs that last maybe a fraction longer with certain people because they are so needy of love..." Here he nodded at Merlin, raising his eyebrows as if acknowledging Merlin's addiction to being held. "So no, Merlin, you cannot go around hugging me in public."

Then in a quiet aside, which he felt sure Merlin missed, he added, "Even though, I'd love it!"

Merlin heard that and felt quite sad. He planned to put that right at the first, or as Arthur would say, at the first 'opportune moment'! Until then, this would have to suffice, he stretched his arms overhead in the air touching the castle wall, bringing his hands back to his knees, one hand came down, close to Arthur's thigh and managed to give it a quick squeeze. He didn't make eye contact, before returning the errant hand back to his own knee.

Arthur looked straight ahead marvelling at how demonstrative his best friend could be.

"Number Eight! When I see you publicly veering towards actions that might lead to fun and games, which I know from experience might escalate into a dangerous situation. I will give you a look for you to stop immediately, whatever you are planning to do." He intended to be the strong one, reining in his desires and cautioning Merlin. He thought, 'Well, at least I'll try!'

"But, Arthur, how will I know, what the look means as you continually threaten me, with scathing nods and scowls?"

Arthur realised, he had a point but besides tripping, pinching, or yelling at him, he had not idea how to proceed with the threat.

"Number Ten! "We will never and I repeat never, do anything outside of a locked room which would result in putting our lives in danger."

He looked at Merlin. "At the moment, Merlin, those are the rules but we may have to add more if necessary."

"Well," said Merlin, "You'll have to add one for sure as you missed a Number Nine. I know, Number Nine, The Crown Prince and his Manservant will not be in love!"

Arthur's heart took a tumble and then he saw Merlin's grin. "Don't say things like that, Merlin, they scare me." He continued on a lighter note, "You obviously were not paying attention. These rules are not jokes. Try to concentrate on what I have said, take them to heart, memorising them."

"Oh, Arthur you sound like a school teacher." Then he glanced at him teasingly and said, "Mr. Pendragon, Sir, am I going to have private lessons tonight? I obviously failed that test miserably."

Arthur leaned over and punched him in the shoulder realizing as he did it that he had just broken Rule Number Seven or Eight. He wasn't sure. All he knew was that the temptation to have physical contact with Merlin, was one that he was finding too strong to ignore. He tried to put it out of his mind before Merlin picked up on it and decided to break Rule Number Eight.

He decided that later they could make a list of all the safe locations in the kingdom, where they could act less formally. Home farm, immediately came to mind, they could take the palfreys and go off into the woods. Then he thought to himself, he was envisioning less formal behaviour not complete abandonment!

The more he thought about it, he realised that they were prisoners to their love, always guarded, never free to express themselves.

Merlin took to heart the rules laid down by Arthur for their safety and then had a scathingly brilliant idea...


	4. Chapter 4

**CHAPTER 4 :** **TO FEAR THE STRANGER **

Arthur had no intention of upsetting the status quo regarding Merlin and himself.

They had to be extremely careful, one false move and their situation would become public knowledge including one member of the public, whom he was certainly not yet ready to face, the King. How far would his father go to punish them? He knew the answer and it made him sick to acknowledge the truth. His father would kill Merlin and in so doing, punish him further than even the King realised he was capable.

Sometimes at night, while Merlin slept, Arthur would suddenly wake with a start, always from the dream of the two knights burned to death. But in his dream, Merlin was one of the accused and he was always on the balcony beside his father. Once he was awake, he would realise that he had instinctively pulled Merlin to himself, hanging on to him, protecting him and inevitably disturbing his sleep.

"Arthur, what's wrong, you're practically smothering me?"

"Just a dream, I didn't want to lose you... I had to hang onto you, to stop them..."

Merlin held him close and whispered, "Oh! Arthur..." Ever since their return to Camelot, Merlin had often been woken by Arthur's hanging onto to him for dear life. He knew something was bothering him but he was unable to get him to discuss it.

"Arthur, the only time you will lose me is when one of us dies. And, I intend to make sure that that doesn't happen until we have had thousands of years of each other!" By then, Merlin was wide awake, so decided that there was no better time, than this...

Arthur smiled as he loved it when Merlin took charge. He never knew what might happen as all Merlin would say, with a wicked little grin was, "I think this calls for, _Chapter: V, Page: LV, Subsection: VIII,_ no maybe _VII_" and Arthur would be swept away as Merlin and his love became more than a memory.

Arthur was daydreaming again. Anyway, where was his Problem Child? Arthur knew that Merlin hated being called that. He should have been tidying up the chamber but he had drifted away after Arthur had dressed and he hadn't seen him since.

* * *

><p>Merlin had been wandering the halls, on his own secret mission which was unknown even to Arthur. It occupied all his spare time and some of the time, when he should have been working.<p>

Walking through a darkened hallway, he was grabbed and imprisoned by a pair of strong arms, Arthur's. He laughed, hugging back, searching for a kiss, but almost immediately, he realised by the way the hands were groping him, that it wasn't and tried to pull away. As his eyes grew accustomed to the half-light, he saw that the man hanging onto him was a stranger. Then he suddenly remembered, there were overnight guests in the castle. He wriggled, pushed and shoved, managing to break free, but not before the man had grabbed his backside. "Just what I need, a young, spirited servant as a little entertainment for tonight, I'll see _you_ later, boy!"

Merlin was thunderstruck. Never in all the years, that he'd been in Camelot, had he experienced anything like this. How dare someone say that to him! It was absurd, he'd given himself to only one person, Arthur. He was furious but as a servant he had to respect the King's guests. So, without a word, he turned on his heels, with the disgusting voice calling after him, "Got a good look at you, boy! I'd know your pretty face, anywhere."

He was mortified and to think that he had momentarily thought when the arms first grabbed him that it might have been Arthur. He could feel the man's lips and felt physically sick. For him, there was only Arthur, no one but Arthur! He knew there was only one place to be, so he ran as fast as he could to safety.

Out of the blue, Merlin came hurtling into the room in a real state, obviously upset. He wouldn't tell Arthur what had happened but he sat at the table by the window, his head in his hands.

"Merlin, I thought we were not going to have any secrets between us. What's wrong?" Arthur walked over and crouched down, he was shocked to see, Merlin brush away tears. "Tell me, what happened?"

Pulling away from Arthur, he walked across the room and stood at the bedpost, lost, twiddling the curtain tassels in his fingers. Arthur not accepting this as an answer, took him by the shoulders and said, "You've got to tell me what's wrong."

Merlin dodged away from his touch and threw himself on the bed. Merlin couldn't tell Arthur anything as everything was all mixed up in his mind, he needed time to sort out the sequences of what has just happened to him. That man had made him feel dirty.

Arthur moved over and sat by him, running his hand up and down his back and his fingers through his hair, making tutting and shushing noises that he had heard Gaius make, hoping that he could get him to relax a little. "Merlin, nothing's so bad that we can't face it together..." The pain and worry, he himself felt was intensified by Merlin's obvious distress. He was usually so brave in the face of danger and he seemed physically uninjured, had something happened to Gaius, his Mam, Tosh, or his darn horse Gidun for that matter.

Finally, he relaxed but he still refused to speak. Arthur stood up, covered him with a blanket and went to sit by the window worrying. He sat there, wanting to race off to Gaius but he wouldn't leave Merlin alone. Something out of the ordinary had obviously upset his normally happy, outgoing friend.

Arthur was dressed. He was dining with his father and the castle's guests. He was about to leave, when Merlin finally stirred. He was apologetic about not helping him dress. He insisted that he was coming with him to the Dining Hall. Arthur said, "You don't need to." But when he saw the look on Merlin's face, he said, "Can't have you going with a tear streaked face, can we? Freshen yourself up, I'll wait." There would be further discussions about whatever had upset Merlin later, in the privacy of their room.

Arthur glad that Merlin seemed back to normal, chatted all the way to the Dining Hall, not realizing that Merlin hardly replied. As they reached the open door, Merlin stiffened as he remembered the guests. Arthur felt him shudder and turned to him and got a weak smile. Finally the King was announced, Uther and Arthur went forward to greet their guests, followed at a respectable distance by their own personal menservants.

The man was not seated at the table, Merlin realised he must have been one of the guests' servants. In some places, Merlin as a servant, would be considered fair game as far as a stranger was concerned. He remembered his Mam commenting that he had been lucky to have his position as Arthur's manservant as that would protect him; as in many establishments, the non-indentured young servants were at the mercy of all comers... and then he'd fallen in love.

As the meal finished, Uther left the hall with his guests, and their supporters followed. Arthur lingered, in the Hall, talking to Sir Rupert and Gaius. Merlin standing closely beside him, this alone set off alarm bells for Arthur. Merlin was not the clingy type... well yes, but not in public. He could feel his tension.

Gaius looked at Arthur, saying in a low voice, "Arthur, are you being too hard on Merlin, look at him?"

Both Rupert and Arthur turned to look at Merlin. He tried to smile back but at that moment he saw, in the corridor, the stranger who smiled and made an obscene gesture at him. He froze; Arthur picked up on it instantaneously, following his gaze and in that instance, caught both the suggestive leer on the man's face and his gesture. He put two and two together and automatically put his arm around Merlin's shoulders, turning him away from the man, towards him, if the man wanted to read it as possessive, so be it. The other man smirked, lowered his eyes and left.

'That was it,' Arthur thought, 'the bastard had hit on Merlin.' He turned saying, "I'll kill him! Why in heaven's name didn't you tell me he was bothering you?"

"I thought he was a guest..." Merlin was already upset and Arthur's tone upset him even more. He shrugged his shoulders apologetically at the three of them, dropping his head.

Arthur kept his hand on his shoulder, pulling him closer towards him in a hug. "Merlin, I don't blame you at all. I am just furious and sorry that this happened to you."

Gaius said, "Uther does not condone it in his household. If he were a household servant in Camelot, forcing his unwanted attentions on another servant, he would find himself dismissed."

"I'll take care of this, Sire, in the most discreet of ways." Sir Rupert offered. Arthur nodded.

Sir Rupert thought, 'The man shouldn't be too hard to find. In no uncertain terms, he would make it clear that in Camelot, guests and their servants were welcome but had to abide by their host's rules that they not interrupt the duties any of the royal household's serving staff, beyond those assigned to them for the duration of their visit. That would do the trick! It should at least protect Merlin from any further hassles and cover Arthur's immediate propriety towards him. He didn't want his warning to be interpreted as a cover up for something which he'd had guessed and had been confirmed by Arthur's split second reaction.' Sir Rupert felt sure that Arthur would be keeping Merlin, close by his side until the guests and their support staff had left Camelot.

Gaius feeling that Arthur could cope, put his hand on Merlin's shoulder and said, "You two, have things to talk about." With a raised eyebrow directed at Arthur, he left.

Keeping an arm firmly on Merlin's shoulders, Arthur walked him back to their chambers. Merlin stood at the window with his back to the seated Arthur, telling him everything that had happened except why he had been in that area of the castle. What upset him the most was, that he had thought it was Arthur and he hadn't fought when the man first grabbed him.

"Merlin, don't blame yourself for that, he was in the wrong, he should never have touched you, period.

Come here, Merlin Love!"

Merlin moved to behind Arthur's chair and put his arms around his neck and rested his face on his head. Arthur waited patiently, once Merlin was relaxed he said, "No matter what happens to you, you are mine, first and foremost, as I am yours. You can't possibly imagine how much I love you; you are the reason I wake in the morning; the reason I sleep at night."

And a muffled voice said, "But not always, through the whole night, eh, Arthur!"

Arthur smiled.

"This is the way I want to remember us always," Arthur said, as he threw his arms over his head and pivoted Merlin so he was lifted over the arm of the chair and he landed in his lap. He put his arms around him holding him to his chest, twining his fingers in his hair. He held him close to his heart for ages.

Merlin finally, said, "I can remember my Mam holding me like this. Arthur, if ever I have a fight with you, just grab me to hold me like this and I will remember everything that is good with the world, and forgive you for whatever you did to start the fight. Honestly!"

"But maybe you will start the fight and then, what are you going to do, for me?

Merlin grinned, "Arthur, I will make you forget that you ever lived without me by your side."

Laughing Arthur said, "That sounds great," he shifted slightly, "but if you stay any longer on my knees you're going to hurt me. You're not half heavy!"

Slipping off Arthur's knees but keeping his arms securely around his waist, Merlin knelt before him and said, "I'm not that heavy, I'm wiry and very strong... You said so!"

Arthur stood up and pulled Merlin up with him. He swung him into his arms, carried him across the room and dumped him unceremoniously on the bed. "Very well, wiry and strong one, put yourself to good use!"


	5. Chapter 5

**CHAPTER 5 : IN ONE EAR AND OUT THE OTHER **

At the end of the previous nights Council Meeting, the King had asked Arthur to meet with him in his chambers.

Merlin had made arrangements to have an early breakfast sent to their chambers. He was to accompany Arthur to the king's chamber whether he would be at the meeting or await Arthur in the king's antechamber he wasn't sure.

Breakfast was finished, the prince was dressed.

"Arthur, why would the King want me to go with you?"

"Ask him, when you see him, if you like?" Arthur joked.

"It's just that I'm a little worried. Do you think it's a trap and I'll end up in the cells, maybe, someone knows about us and is using it as leverage?

"Merlin, let it go. We have been very careful. Well, at least I have." He started laughing as he remembered Merlin's latest episode. "Next time, you plan a surprise..."

Blushing, Merlin said, "No, Arthur not again!"

"... Yes, Merlin. Again! Tell me, how many hours were you caught in the antechamber, insufficiently clothed? If you had paid more attention to your job, you would have remembered that I had planned to invite a visiting prince to dine in my chambers. You were lucky, that I came along the corridor and walked into the room talking to Prince Cedwal, as otherwise... "Arthur shook his head laughing, "Oh, Merlin!"

"Though I must say, his eyebrows were raised when he saw the bed strewn with flowers, yellow acacia, and myrtle. Forget-me-nots placed on our pillows. I read the message, pansy, mugwort, really Merlin, mugwort! Monkshood, was that for me or a suggestion that Gawaine is still looking over our shoulders? Hopefully, he just saw flowers and not the language they expressed." Arthur grabbed him, tickling him till he begged for mercy.

"But it was beautiful wasn't it? Anyway, he would think it was for a lady love..."

"Yes, Milady, they were beautiful and much appreciated even though I bet you didn't feel that way, when you had to tidy it up. When you got breaksfast this morning did any of the servants who delivered the last night's meal make any comments?"

Merlin chose to take that as a rhetorical question and said, "Arthur, if you had to give me one flower, which would you choose?

Taking his hand and holding it to his lips, Arthur whispered, "Moonflower because you have an insatiable thirst for love!"

"And me, Arthur, ask me!"

Arthur kissed Merlin's palms and said with a laugh. "Merlin, if you had to give me one flower, which would you choose?"

Merlin with a twinkle in his eye said, "I would choose a...no, maybe not...ah yes, that's it... no, let me think..."

Arthur dug him in the ribs and at that exact moment there was a knock at the door.

Merlin said with a laugh, "Later, Arthur, I'll tell you and even maybe show you!" He got up and went to open the door.

The King's Manservant was at the door so they left to go to the King's chambers.

Arthur walked in greeting his father, motioning to the wall where he wished Merlin to stand. Merlin's eyes lit up as he noticed Sir Rupert and Gaius who smiled at him.

'Good!' Thought Merlin, 'Doesn't seem to be a trip to the cells at this particular moment.' He realised that Arthur was quite uneasy about their being found out, although he had never specified the punishment. Merlin knew that he as a manservant would be killed but he worried more of what would happen to the man he loved...'

Arthur sat at the table with the King, then Gaius and Sir Rupert took their seats. Merlin stayed where he was but Arthur motioned him to a stool near the window.

Merlin only half followed the conversation, he picked up disjointed words and phrases: secret mission... Mancunium... He was more interested in watching Arthur; the way his hair fell over his eyes when he checked papers on the desk and the way, he'd swing his head to the side and up to get it back in place... low key, no knights... His ears lobes peaking out below his hair, were tantalising... or their attendants... own horses... peddlers... His hands strong and calloused but which could be so sensitive and gentle... local inns...or camping... Slowly, he catalogued all of Arthur's other attributes... pack horse with trading supplies... 'Did someone just say, camping?'

Suddenly, he heard his name mentioned and became fully tuned into the conversation.

"Very well, Arthur," the King agreed, "He wouldn't be my first choice, but if you would rather have him."

Merlin wanted to laugh, 'He hoped Arthur would rather _have_ him! If only Uther knew, half of it." Arthur risked looking at him with raised eyebrows and Merlin almost lost it. Gaius caught his eyes and added his raised eyebrow to Arthur's. Merlin figured, 'Three out of four wasn't bad, was it?'

Finally, the King nodded at Arthur, "You may go to plan your trip. Gaius and Rupert, we have further business to discuss. So, you'll leave day after tomorrow? Keep me appraised of your progress. And don't let that idiot of yours, cause any trouble."

Merlin immediately dropped his eyes to the floor. He knew that statements like that really upset Arthur. He could call him that, yet it riled him when his father did. Even the knights knew better than to call him that except maybe Gawaine, who used it affectionately as well, much to Arthur's annoyance.

Merlin had told him that it didn't matter, but to Arthur it did! He himself didn't care as in his mind, he was thinking, '... and Uther, wouldn't you like to know what your son and the idiot get up to in the privacy of their chambers?' He smiled to himself thinking, 'Fart-Head!' Instantly, he heard his Mam's voice admonishing him, saying, 'Merlin!'

Strolling back to their chambers, Arthur said, "Good Heavens! Merlin you were in the room, didn't you follow any of the conversation? We have to be organized and ready to leave by noon in two days. "If you weren't listening, what in heaven's name were you doing?"

"I was distracted..."

"By what?"

"By you and..." his lips brushed Arthur's cheek, "... this!"

Arthur croaked, "Merlin, not here!"

Merlin said, "Arthur, it's early, no servants will be in this corridor. Believe me, it's always deserted at this time."

"How do you know?"

With a grin, which Arthur recognised as the lead into a put-down, Merlin said, "It's where Gawaine and I meet on mornings when you're too sleepy! Come on, live dangerously..."

Arthur sighed, "As I do everyday!" But he allowed himself to be pulled into a recessed area for a couple of minutes, as Merlin reminded him why he would be a necessity on this upcoming excursion.

The kiss ended with Merlin saying, "Primrose, that's it, primrose! If I only could choose one flower, I'd give you a primrose." Ready to explain its significance, Merlin was interrupted when his breath was caught as Arthur hugged him.

Merlin, the man in the world for whom he would give everything he owned. Arthur whispered a little unsteadily as he knew the meaning, "A primrose, me too, Merlin, '_I can't live without you either'_!"

Grabbing him by the hand, he pulled him down the corridor and into their chambers, "Luckily you didn't make the bed. It's still early, lock the door Merlin and let's lie down for a minute and plan our trip... Now where was I? Secret, tick. Horses, tick. Sleeping gear, tick. Camping gear, tick. Hunting gear, tick."

And Merlin, reaching the bed, leaned over and frowned, "Arthur, your father never mentioned anything about hunting"

"Well, Merlin, what am I going to cook when we get to Cave Two?" Hearing no response, Arthur looked up but Merlin was busy flicking his boots off his feet. Arthur thought to himself, 'Oh, Oh! Incoming!'

* * *

><p>The following day, Arthur sat down returning from a second meeting in private with his father, placing on the table in front of Merlin, the plans for their secret mission. Merlin felt strangely excited at the prospect of doing something out of the ordinary that was quite important for the kingdom.<p>

Arthur explained to Merlin that a life-altering message had to get from point A, Camelot to Point B, Mancunium. The contact person at Point B was a certain fellow called Dunstan a member of the Earl of Wilmslow's family. The elderly earl wished to join forces with Camelot but due to his age and inability to travel, Uther agreed to send an envoy. He'd chosen Arthur to deliver the lLetter of Intent regarding the treaty and to wait for the written consents. As they would have to travel outside the kingdom, the King wanted Arthur to travel as a peddler, accompanied by a helper/groom with a packhorse loaded with supplies suitable to be hawked.

Arthur with tongue in cheek, confided that he had chosen to take Merlin because of his name's affiliation with selling goods in the streets. "Get it my little 'merlin'?"

Then continued, "Actually, Merlin, you were my second choice, as my first inclination had been to round up Gawaine from some alehouse but I didn't think that I could find him in the time allotted." Shrugging his shoulders and slipping his hand under Merlin's cuff, so he could run his fingers lightly up his arm, he said, "Sadly... I had to choose you... shame, as he would really have enjoyed the camping!"

Merlin made a face at him but Arthur ignored him, smiling sweetly. The insignificance of the response slightly worried Arthur, until he assumed that the cogs in Merlin's mind were working overtime. He then worried what punishment might be metered out later for that verbal challenge. Merlin wasn't strong enough to really hurt him, at least he didn't think so, but it was the surprise of the retaliation which usually caught him off guard. Nice though as it usually turned into a rough and tumble which with Merlin, you could count on, escalating into more enjoyable games.

Using the list compiled the previous day, they worked seriously on their plans. A priority for Merlin was the cave. Arthur agreed that they could spent night one and the last night of their return trip in Cave Two. "Merlin, we can't always be in caves as true to our disguise, we will have to frequent inns and alehouses. It will have to be serious work and not only play."

Merlin responded, "I understand but Arthur wouldn't it be great if we met up by accident with Gawaine. That would be fun..."

"Not fun, dangerous!" Arthur interrupted him, "That could cause big problem as he would recognize us and call us loudly by our names as he wouldn't know the names we'd chosen to go with our disguises and that would give us away."

Merlin looked slightly worried. He frowned, seemed deep in thought, with the weight of the world on his shoulders. Merlin had become quite distant.

Arthur felt unsure of himself. 'Damn that Gawaine!' he thought. He loved Merlin so much but love didn't only mean hanging on, sometimes it meant letting go and hoping that the person released would return of his own accord. He leaned over, putting his two hands on the sides of Merlin's head, turning Merlin's face towards him. His heart breaking, he said truthfully, "Merlin, you are not forced to remain with me, if ever you fall out of love with me and feel that you would like to leave me and take up with Gawaine, I would be ever so sad but I would understand."

Gasping as if he had been shot, Merlin jumped up from the table with tears starting to spill down his cheeks. He could hardly breathe. Had Arthur just said that he wouldn't care if he left him for Gawaine? Merlin felt sick. He'd thought that their love was forever. What had he done to deserve this? What had happened in the short time since early this morning? Was this arrangement based on love or just casual sex?

Not waiting to hear anything more, a broken hearted warlock made for the antechamber and barred the door, Sitting on the bed, he sobbed unable to catch his breath and ignoring Arthur's pleading as he battered on the door. He put his fingers in his ears and let his magic carry him away.

To say that Arthur was upset, was an understatement he was shocked. He thought, 'What had just happened? Had he wrongly read Merlin's reaction to his reference of Gawaine's calling out and ruining the mission? Had Merlin been relieved, as his words had released him to run to Gawaine. Or, was there behind that door which he had been battering for the last half hour, a brokenhearted soul who couldn't fathom that Arthur would even question his love?'

Arthur walked away from the door. He sat on the bed head in his hands confused, finally lying back and curling on his side of the bed in a little ball, hoping desperately to hear the word, 'Incoming'!

By midday, no progress had been made with either the mission plans or the stalemated personal situation.

The anteroom door was still barred. Arthur kept checking. Feeling utterly stupid and like the little boy who because of parental disinterest had always gone to Gaius for help; he left the room and made his way to the Court Physician's chambers. Keeping his head down as he walked the corridors as he knew his eyes must be swolled and red.

Gaius looked up from his work, pleased to see his second favourite young man. One look at Arthur's face made Gaius worried. He immediately said, "Arthur, is Merlin alright?" Sitting at the table, Arthur nodded before putting his head down. Gaius got up and put his hand on his shoulder.

'First love is never easy,' he thought, 'but then again maybe love is always fraught with problems and sorrows.' Sitting beside Arthur, he sadly smiled and said, "Arthur, you haven't come here this upset for years, ever since you father punished you by taking away your first sword. What's wrong? Out with it! Keeping it to yourself will only allow it to fester. Tell me, and we'll see if it can be fixed."

Arthur lifting his head, wiped his eyes smiling weakly. He felt like a fool, here he was twenty-seven years old upset because someone he had come to love so much, had shunned him; crying his eyes out to the person who had raised him as a baby. Guess, he wasn't as much an adult as he thought.

Between sobs and hiccups, he told Gaius the gist of what had happened. How he had said that meeting Gawaine on the mission wouldn't be good as he would give their disguises away. That Merlin had looked so worried and upset that he'd had told him trying to be kind that if he felt that he wanted Gawaine more than him, he would understand and not force him to stay...

Gaius raised an eyebrow and tutted, "How did he react?"

Turning, tears threatening once again, Arthur sniffed saying, "He bolted for the antechamber and I haven't been able to get in to explain to him what I meant."

"When did this happen?"

"Hours ago!"

"I think, there must have been a little misunderstanding. Was Merlin listening to what you were saying or was he tuned out?" Gaius asked him. "You know, he has a habit of doing that, then seems surprised when you ask him something because he wasn't really paying attention. Don't worry. Stay here, make yourself some herbal drink and I'll go and check up on 'tui puer difficulus'!

Arthur smiled not because he felt sure that Gaius would be able to immediately solve the problem but because he had used Arthur's pet name for Merlin.

Gaius left and Arthur sat at the table, finally, he crossed the room, walked up a couple of stairs to Merlin's old room and lay on the uncomfortable bed.


	6. Chapter 6

**CHAPTER 6 : WHAT'S IN A NAME?**

Gaius huffed and puffed, all the way up to the royal bedchamber making his way as quickly as he could. He remembered various other times, he had made the trek; never to come to the aid of the man he considers his own blood. He was certain that there had been a misunderstanding. Merlin loved Arthur and only Arthur. He'd bet his life on that but what had happened, what had Merlin heard and what was he now going through?

He didn't enter their chambers by the main door, he went to the first door he arrived at along the corridor. This door lead directly into the antechamber, chances were, Merlin had not locked it thinking only of the door which Arthur had been battering, which lead from the antechamber into their chambers. No problem either way as Gaius had a key to the exterior door.

Carefully, Gaius pressed the handle down and was thankful to feel the metal bar lift. He pushed the door slightly without any sound. He glanced in and by the light from the corridor saw a body wrapped in a blanket lying on the floor at the bottom of the door into the main chamber. He closed the door after him and moved quietly to the bed, sat down and waited.

The room was without windows and dark, he leaned over and felt for a candlestick and closing his eyes, whispered, "Merlin, the things I do for you!" The former magician added very quietly, "_Permissum illic existo lux lucis."_ A little green flame roamed the room, drawn immediately to Merlin's sleeping form, it circled, swooped and danced over him but when Gaius cleared his throat, it returned to rest on his index finger. As he touched it to the taper, a warm light filled the room. He said quietly, "_Gratiae, vos parum flamma!"_

He realised that Merlin was asleep. His face tear streaked. He didn't say a word, he thought, 'Merlin, I'm here, we need to talk.' He concentrated very deeply and repeated the sentence. He was conscious that Merlin had moved slightly. He thought, 'Merlin, I know that you only have love for Arthur.' He noticed more movement, he was determined to get Merlin off the floor without physically dragging him, that would have to be a last resort. He again cleared his mind of all thoughts but Merlin. 'Tell me, Merlin, what did you hear Arthur say?' Merlin stretched. Gaius wondered to himself then thought, 'Where did your love for him go, Merlin?' That was better, he was getting feed back so he finally said aloud but in a caring tone, "Come on, Merlin, wakey wakey!"

Merlin finally raised his eyes and saw Gaius. Showing no surprise, he said, "My love for him is still here. I do love him but... Gaius... I don't think _he_ feels the same way, anymore." Tears were threatening as Merlin got up from the floor and sat next to Gaius, hanging onto him for dear life as he poured out his heart to him. The physician held him, rocking him wishing that his silly old heart could take all the pain that Merlin was suffering.

"Well," Gaius said, "I am here as the envoy of a heartbroken young man in my chambers, upset because he feels that the most important person in his life no longer wants him."

Merlin's jaw dropped and he turned to Gaius saying, "But he said that he didn't want me and if I wanted Gawaine instead, I should leave him."

"Were you paying attention to the whole conversion, Merlin, or had your mind gone traipsing off somewhere of more importance to you?"

Merlin's eyes opened wide, he then looked guiltily down at his hands. "I was choosing a name for myself when I go in disguise but Arthur interrupted me, telling me that I could leave and take up with Gawaine, he'd be sad but would understand. I really thought he loved me and I waited so long for him, Gaius. Did my heart trick me?"

"Merlin, Merlin, Merlin! Maybe he thought that when you were thinking of a name, you were thinking about your love for Gawaine. So, he said, 'You are not forced to remain with me, if ever you fall out of love with me and feel that you would like to leave me, I would be ever so sad but I would understand'. Was that it?"

Gaius explained that he understood how difficult it must be for the two of them. They could only rely on each other for help. Always being on guard against letting slip about their love was bound to be not only difficult but stressful. "I know it's hard for the two of you. You have to trust each other and talk things out. Listen to him, if you weren't paying attention, tell him so. Don't take it for granted what you think you have heard Arthur say, is what he is actually saying. Don't you jump to conclusions when he seems not to understand what you are saying. And one very, very important thing which my mother told me, never ever go to sleep at night without making up if you have had an argument."

"How do you know all these things Gaius?"

"Well, it might be hard for you to believe, but I was once head over heels in love like you and our love lasted many years."

"Was he good looking like Arthur, Gaius?

"No, Merlin, she was beautiful!"

Merlin grinned and quietly said, "Oops!"

Gaius patted him on the shoulder laughing and said, "So, what are we going to do with that sad prince of yours?"

Merlin seemed more composed and said finally, "Gaius I've made an awful mistake. Is he still in your chambers?

"He was, I left him sitting at the table."

"Come on, Gaius, we have to go to him!"

"Merlin, I think it will be you he wants to see, not me."

"But, I need to get something first."

"What?"

Merlin blushed saying, "Gaius, I need a primrose."

* * *

><p>Arthur was awake. Hands behind his head, trying to get comfortable on Merlin's excuse for a bed.<p>

He heard Gaius's chamber door open but only one person coming in. He was hoping that Gaius would have returned with Merlin in tow. Gaius pottered around, he could hear a kettle boiling and mugs being set out; a chair pulled out, Gaius sitting down and then silence. He could take it no longer; he got up stretched and walked to the door.

The room was only lit by the firelight. He looked and his heart stopped, Merlin was sitting at the table. He was down the stairs, crouched down by him and hugging him in seconds. He held him away from him, looked at him and then hugged him again. He could not believe his eyes. Merlin was safe in his arms again.

Merlin pushed against him saying, "Arthur, careful, not that hard, you'll break my ribs!"

But, he didn't want to let him go, he held onto his hand as might a drowning man. With his other hand, he touched his hair, his forehead, his eyelids, ran his finger down his nose, to his lips and back to his eyelids. His whole body tingled with pleasure. Merlin was back with him.

"Merlin..." he sighed satisfied, he got off his knees to sit at the table next to him.

Merlin, ran his hand up the back of Arthur's neck into his hair, bringing his head towards his and gently kissed his eyes lids. His voice broke, one controlled sob, "Arthur, I wasn't paying attention, I was choosing a name for myself when I am in disguise and you interrupted my thoughts telling me that I could leave and take up with Gawaine, and that you'd be sad but would understand." He was getting emotional again, his eyes glistening, another sob, "I thought that you no longer wanted me; didn't want to love me any more and was giving me to Gawaine. I lost it. I sat in the antechamber with my fingers in my ears so I couldn't hear your excuses. I'm sorry Arthur. I can't face a day without you, let alone a lifetime"

"It was my fault, I was being flippant, it was supposed to be funny, Merlin. I didn't realise that had tuned me out and you were miles away. I feel so guilty for causing you any pain. That will never be my mission in life regardless of what comes our way." Then he rubbed Merlin's nose with his and said with a little chuckle in his voice, "Well, maybe in those extenuating circumstances which happen every now and again, when you have a choice between torture and death. Were you listening that time, it was a joke, not a threat...?"

Merlin poured hot liquid into the mugs. He glanced up smiling, "If it's something very important, from now on you will have to say, 'Earth to Merlin' to be sure that I am listening. Drink this! Gaius said that it would do the two of us good."

Arthur's eyes followed his hand and saw the little glass vial in the middle of the table holding one yellow primrose. His heart expanded and felt uncomfortable, too big for his chest cavity, his breathing became shallow and he gasped and Merlin leaned in for a kiss.

Not wanting to deprive Gaius of his chambers any longer, they left the room for their own chambers as soon as they had finished their herbal infusions. Arthur suddenly said, "Merlin, wait!" He went back and returning holding carefully in his hand the glass vial and its contents.

Merlin grasped his hand and said," Arthur, you're one man in a million." Pulling him along he said, "Come on!"

* * *

><p>The clothes were packed, the maps charted, the kitchens had been notified for non-perishables, even though Merlin had insisted that he could live solely on love, "Well, I intend to eat proper meals. Now that I know, how easy it is to roast a bird!"<p>

"Right, and are you going to pluck and clean it?"

"No," came the quick reply," you will..."

The stables had been notified that they would need their own horses and an extra packhorse; the housekeeper had organized camping essentials, bedrolls, blankets; carrying chests full of bags of merchandise suitable to tempt a lady's fancy. Arthur had visited the King's Treasurer for silver and copper coins for the trip.

He turned to look at Merlin and realised that he only had what he always wore. Getting him to get undressed out of his trousers, neckerchief, shirt and jacket and try on other clothes was almost comedic. He became very shy and uncomfortable in front of Arthur who had to laugh remembering the moonlight sequence and his everyday behaviour in this room. "For Heaven's sake, Merlin, what's all the fuss about, you can still keep your underpants on... what's the problem?"

He kept insisting that this was different but Arthur insisted just as loudly that it wasn't as he was still Arthur.

In the end, Merlin got over his shyness and was in and out of clothes until he was comfortable in brown trousers, a light rust coloured shirt, a leather belt and a deep green jacket. All were Arthur's cast offs, which had not fit him for a couple of years, slightly worn but very suitable. They fit him perfectly, no baggy trousers, fitted ones now. He insisted he needed his neckerchief, although Arthur thought he looked nice without it. He went along with it, only as it wasn't worth fighting over a scrap of linen, which Merlin obviously saw as a security blanket. Arthur however, did make a mental note to ditch it somewhere on the trip. He liked this new and improved Merlin and planned to give him a few outfits which he could wear besides his usual ones.

"Well," said Arthur, "I think we did a good job." He turned Merlin around to have a good look at him. He looked handsome and alluring. Arthur immediately thought, 'Better not go there!' Giving him a swat on the backside, he announced, "Now, get back into your old clothes as you have work to do."

"What?" Merlin said, muttering something under his breath which sounded like 'queue bit cad.'

"Merlin, a little respect as I am after all your future monarch. Now tell me, what exactly was that you said? Nothing Oh, I see! Well, put away all the clothes you insisted on trying on. We're having supper here tonight. So then, you can nip down to the kitchens and order double portions so we can eat as we work." With that Arthur waited until Merlin had bent down to pick up some of the clothes and dumped a whole lot more on top of him. He looked at Merlin and grinned, "Stupid Prat was it, by any chance?"

Merlin started collecting up the Prince's old clothes folding them and packing them away into the trunk. He'd never thought of wearing different outfits, and decided that it might be rather fun. Wait till Gaius saw him tomorrow...

Supper was over and the platters removed by the kitchen staff as requested by Merlin. As they left the chambers, he dropped the bar on the main door and locked the two exterior doors. He passed by Arthur and gave him a broad wink. Arthur felt his bones melt!

"Arthur, when we're on the trip I can say, anything I like to you, can't I? We'll be equals, right?"

"Well, that won't make much difference will it, as you always do?"

"Yes, but I learned some really good words since I've been hanging around with the knights."

"And, you don't think that I know them?"

"You'll have to wait until I use them, to find that out."

There was something about Merlin that had a good affect on Arthur, it had made him able to enjoy the simple things in life, see the value of friends, tone down his arrogance, see staff as people, be more accepting of his father and become more trustworthy, more likeable and as far as his number one fan was concerned more lovable.

Everything was done which could be done in the planning stage and Merlin after banking the fire and making sure all Arthur's clothes were put away, turned down his side of the bed, and got in. Arthur sitting on the edge of the bed, turned to him and said, "Oh, by the way Merlin, what name did you finally decide upon for your disguise?"

Merlin said quietly, "Waldo."

"Well, don't get lost, Waldo! As I'll never be able to find you, because I have absolutely no intention... did you hear that? No intention of wandering around, asking people, 'Where's Waldo'!" With that, Arthur fell back on the bed roaring with laughter.

When he had finally finished and caught his breath, Merlin who was not amused said, "Arthur? Have you chosen a name?"

"Not yet..."

"Might I suggest Matthew?"

"Actually, Merlin that is rather a good suggestion, Matthew, I like that. Matt!"

"Good, your Royal Sireness, as it goes so nicely with Prat!"

Arthur spun around, catching Merlin as he tried to get out of bed, he pulled him back and threatened all sorts of awful tortures and dire consequences but changed his mind after he kissed him...

Merlin was still awake long after Arthur had dropped off. He lay there comfortably with his head in the crook of Arthur's arm, his hand resting across his chest. It came back to him like a shock. What would have happened if Arthur had never gone to persuade Gaius to come to check up on him? He would probably have been sleeping by himself back in his own little room.

He turned and looked at his favourite man bar none and whispered, "Sleep Tight, Arthur, we have a busy day ahead of us and then tomorrow night, we'll be in Cave Two." He smiled and let himself slip asleep knowing as long as he was in Arthur's arms, he was safe.


	7. Chapter 7

**CHAPTER 7 :** **PRIDE SOWS CRUELTY, REAPS REGRET **

The morning dawned clear and sunny. 'A great day to set forth on their secret mission,' thought Merlin.

Breakfast was finished and had been taken away. Everything was ready for the big adventure. Arthur had his final meeting with his father; Merlin trying desperately to pay attention but it was rather boring. He thought, 'Protocol be damned! Bring on the freedom!'

The horses were brought out to the stable yard and Arthur's face fell. Where was Mulgan? Was he lame? Merlin's bay, Gidun was there, as was a chestnut and a small versatile looking, black packhorse.

Arthur was not a happy camper, he wanted his destrier not a regular riding horse. Merlin could care less as four legs were always better than two any day but he hoped Gidun was for him as he loved that horse.

Arthur stood there refusing to mount the attractive chestnut palfrey.

Sir Rupert arrived to see them off and tried to convince him, "Mulgan will stick out like a sore thumb. It will make your disguise harder as people will wonder why a peddler, even a successful one, is riding a horse more suited to nobility or even a knight. You'll have shot any chance of getting to Mancunium and back with the important papers the King wants."

Arthur stood, Merlin thought looking like the spoiled brat and the royal prat that he was.

Finally to break the impasse, he spoke up, "If you want, Arthur, you can ride Gidun and I'll take the little chestnut. But Arthur hurry up or I'll have to leave without you for tonight's stopover."

Arthur's eyes made contact but he scowled, refusing to acknowledge or return the grin Merlin flashed him.

Merlin's bay was overall bigger than the chestnut and Arthur begrudgingly snatched the reins from the groom's hands, acting like a badly mannered child.

Merlin walked to the little chestnut stroking its nose and telling it, that it was a very clever horse and he felt sure they would get along fine.

Gidun kept trying to pull away from Arthur to get back to Merlin. Arthur gave its mouth a rough jerk and the horse threw up its head with its ears back. He heard Merlin say, "Arthur!" And was floored to receive a threatening scowl from him, he was shocked as Merlin never scowled at him.

"For heavens, Merlin, it's just a horse!"

"Arthur, it's not just a horse, he's my horse. He's not used to being manhandled and if you aren't going to treat him properly. I want him back."

This was not the Merlin, Sir Rupert was used to. He was impressed seeing him stand up to the Prince.

Under his breath but loud enough to be heard by Sir Rupert and the grooms, Arthur turned on him, with a controlled voice full of venom saying, "Shut up, Merlin! Don't you _dare_ criticise me! Remember your position in life, you are not one of my advisors, you are nothing but a manservant!"

A shocked and hurt, Merlin heard him. He waited for an apology and got none. He looked at Arthur who refused to meet his eyes.

Sir Rupert stepped in to stop a possible fight. As he confided to Gaius later, he had never seen Merlin so incensed with Arthur and he had half expected that Merlin might have turned on his heels and returned to the castle. He shouldn't have been spoken to like that.

Merlin got control of himself and thanked the groom holding the chestnut and the packhorse, asking their names. The chestnut was Conker and the packhorse Billy. He mounted and brought the packhorse up on his right.

"Come on..." Merlin said and left the stable yard first, followed, by Billy and an obviously subdued Arthur who although not having apologised was bitterly regretting having been rude to Merlin.

Sir Rupert wished them a safe journey, thinking, 'Rather you than me, Merlin. You're a braver man than I, going off alone with a very unhappy Arthur.'

Gaius laughed when he heard of the first hurdle which for Merlin's sake, he hoped that they would be able to get over before they reached the cave...

* * *

><p>Merlin was still in shock. His friend had not only been rude to him but had embarrassed him by disciplining him in such a nasty way in front of Sir Rupert and stable staff. It was mind boggling, he had been hurt by the cutting, callousness of Arthur's words.<p>

'Had he deserved the reprimand?' Merlin sadly wondered, 'Maybe but no one should take his anger out on any animal, in particular one as gentle and faithful as Gidun. What had happened to the man who at breakfast had been so thrilled to be getting away from the castle?'

He'd blown it all because of his pride, Arthur realised, all because of a mount which he felt was below his status in life. The fact that he was supposed to look and behave like a peddler had escaped him and it had been harder for him, than Merlin would ever realise. Yet, making excuses and reviewing his stupidity was time wasted. Arthur couldn't bear riding behind the packhorse when all he wanted to do was to ride with the person who meant more to him than even he understood.

Merlin's horse was no pleasure to ride as it wanted to be next to Merlin and it jogged incessantly. Every time Merlin praised or talked to the other two horses, Arthur felt more upset. That same lilting voice, sweet talking to horses, when usually he was the recipient of it. He missed the casual conversations which they normally would have had.

He cleared his throat, hoping that Merlin would respond by asking if he was doing alright with Gidun. Nothing...

The sun was now overhead and after they had crossed a stream, Merlin turned his horse and leading the packhorse walked upstream and stopped. Arthur had no choice but to do the same as the horse had already decided to follow Merlin.

Merlin dismounted, tying the other horses to a tree. Arthur pulled up his horse but it ignored the pressure on the bit and walked right up to Merlin pushing its head into his chest. "It's alright, Gidun, I miss you too!" He patted the horse, scratching under its forelock. The horse raised its head and snuffled in Merlin's hair making him laugh.

Never once did Merlin acknowledge Arthur sitting above him.

Arthur whose very soul was crying out for the same if not less attention than Gidun had received, was devastated. The voice and the touch had broken his heart.

He wanted to apologise for his inappropriate words in the stable yard but he was worried that silence would slap him in the face, silence as hurtful as the neglect that he had felt since leaving Camelot.

* * *

><p>Lunch finished, with never a word spoken, they mounted, this time with Arthur leading and rode in silence.<p>

They reached the cave, Merlin tied the packhorse's lead shank to the back of Conker's saddle and led both horses inside in single file.

Arthur dismounted from Gidun and the horse pulled the reins out of his hand and walked by himself through the narrow cave mouth. He heard Merlin laugh and tell him he was such a clever boy.

That was the first time he had heard Merlin's voice since lunch and it went through him like a blade. He walked away and perched further down the hill on the rock which Merlin had slept against after he had told him his awful secret on their last visit to this cave. Here in private, he put his head in his hands and the tears ran through his fingers to his trousers.

Merlin was clueless as how to break the impasse. His first reaction was to run out of the cave yelling. "Arthur, I want you back, now." But something in his head, overruled his heart's first reaction, refusing to let that idea become an option. He respected Arthur as a man and decided to allow him to save face by apologising. He knew they were equals in their hearts so he would wait until the man he loved, stepped up to take responsibility for his hurtful words. Then the hurt section of his heart could begin to heal.

He wondered if he was being fair ignoring Arthur but his problem was that he always seemed to be the person to cave in. He chuckled to himself, 'cave in, in the cave' then felt sad as he missed hearing Arthur saying, 'Who do you think you are a comedian?' He was a people person, didn't like controversy and was not known to hold a grudge. However, he felt pain like most people and was not ready this time to shrug and forget as Arthur really had hurt him. Being hurt by someone you love, is harder to accept and this awful feeling had shaken him.

Arthur was doubting himself. He didn't know what to do. There was no one to ask for advice and the one person he could ask was the one person, he couldn't. He'd had plenty of time to think over his behaviour this morning and realised that he had been immature and cruel towards the one person who meant the most to him.

Merlin got the horses settled and then started to check into the saddle bags and pulled out what he needed for cooking supper. Not that he was hungry but he didn't want to sit and think. He dropped the bedrolls, then had flashbacks, he smiled then reality hit him. He picked up Arthur's bedroll and walked over to where they usually slept and surprised himself by feeling a tear roll down his face. He brushed it away with his thumb. This cave would still be alright because there were all the mini chambers, enough for privacy.

He lit the fire and started to heat the rabbit stew. When it was almost ready, he walked outside to see if Arthur was around. He saw him on the rock and walked to within ten feet, took a deep breath, stilled his heart and said, "Supper is served, Sire!"

Arthur heard Merlin's footsteps and then what he said. It was as if a ton of rocks had slipped down the hillside and buried him. He dropped his head and groaned quietly, "Merlin...please, don't do this to me!" He knew Merlin wouldn't hear as he was already on his way back to that amazing, wonderful cave where tonight he would be spending the loneliest night of his life.

Merlin stood as Arthur approached the fire, "Rabbit stew, fresh bread and cider, Sire." He pointed to a folded blanket and stood waiting to serve him.

Arthur looked at him but his eyes were downcast. He went to the blanket and sat down. Merlin handed him a full trencher and a spoon being careful not to let their hands touch. Arthur's breath came in gasps. He was too scared to eat in case he choked.

Merlin took his and sat near the horses to eat. It started to rain and raindrops came through the hole in the cave roof and splattered into the pond. Arthur thought of Merlin's wish for rain and felt a little better. At least one of them might be happy.

He said, "Merlin, rain!"

"Yes, Sire."

Arthur took a deep breath, he had to start sometime. He opened his mouth to say what was in his heart but Merlin walked over saying, "Have you finished, Sire? Was it not to your liking?"

Arthur just shook his head. He hated seeing Merlin like this but he was the one who had this very morning, reminded him that he had no value except as a servant.

The storm intensified and the cave was filled with the rumbles of thunder and flashes of lightening.

Merlin banked up the fire and laid out his bedroll beyond it. There was a fair distance between them. He turned to Arthur and said, "Well, if you need nothing else, Sire, I am turning in." He picked up his blue blanket wrapped himself in it and lay down pulling the bedroll around him. He heard Arthur go to his and lie down.

Two bodies separated physically by yards; two minds miles apart; two hearts yearning to be one; both lying ears open, straining, hoping to hear the other call his name, but sadly in vain...

A sound caught Merlin's ear. He lay perfectly still, he heard it again, a muffled sob. His heart was already beside Arthur holding him, telling him he would always forgive him. All he really wanted to do was for Arthur to let him fall asleep, with his arms tightly wrapped around him. However, his head controlled his body and froze it in place.

Neither slept. Soon the storm passed.

Arthur had lost it. He was really sobbing. He had been downright cruel to the person he loved the most. He needed to speak to him but he didn't know what to say first.

Merlin heard the sobbing finally stop and Arthur breathing normally.

Suddenly, he remembered Gaius's story about his mother telling him that he must never go to sleep without making up after a disagreement or fight. He turned and saw Arthur's bedroll in the firelight. Merlin got up and moved on Arthur's side of the fire.

He knew that Gaius was really wise, maybe what he had said was for a reason. What would happen if he died overnight? He couldn't bear to think of Arthur trying to continue, always blaming himself for not having the courage to apologise and now never having the chance.

Moving his bedroll as quietly as he could, he placed it next to Arthur's. He still couldn't sleep so he turned towards Arthur and watched him sleeping. In his mind, he forgave him for all that had happened during the day and cautiously reached over and put his hand on the edge of his bedroll. So close and yet still so far...

Merlin's mind suddenly made a mature, adult decision by allowing his heart to take charge. He moved his hand even further and slipped it under Arthur's blanket until he could touch him and ended up making little circles with his thumb and index finger on his hip.

When Arthur rolled on his back, moving towards his hand, he knew he was awake. Merlin moved his hand up his body to his lips. He placed his finger across Arthur's lips to stop him from saying anything and whispered just loud enough for him to hear. "Arthur, I forgive you for everything that happened today. Please hold me, I need your arms around me."

Wracking sobs filled the air and it was Merlin who ended up holding Arthur.

Merlin then realised that it didn't matter who was the first to cave in. Somebody had to do it and if the Mighty One couldn't, he could show that he was mightier still, as he could...

He thought, 'That's right, just let everyone walk all over you, never stand up for yourself...' But deep down he knew that holding a grunge hurt the holder and he didn't want to be responsible for hurting either Arthur or himself. He felt Arthur's hand seeking him and he turned to him and took his hand holding it tightly to his heart...

Two exhausted souls fell asleep, tomorrow would be soon enough to start rebuilding their lives together.

Merlin's last thought was, maybe sooner would have been better than later ... but he realised that they both needed time.


	8. Chapter 8

**CHAPTER 8 : APOLOGIES ACCEPTED, TRUST REGAINED**

Just before dawn, sun coloured the clouds in the Eastern sky. Arthur woke and realised that Merlin couldn't get any closer to him than he already was. He was curled into him and Arthur's chin was resting on his head. He could feel his heart beating against his chest.

Arthur took a few minutes to gather his thoughts. He knew that he had been in the wrong. He knew that Merlin shouldn't have had to apologize as he was the recipient of Arthur's rage but he also knew that Merlin was braver than he was, when it came to expressing his emotions. Merlin's apology for not doing anything had enabled them to sleep as they had both been emotionally exhausted. Arthur moved his hand and slipped it between their two hearts. A little smile, proof that Merlin was conscious, as he murmured, "Love you too, Arthur."

Arthur took a deep breath and said, "Merlin, I want to apologise for being a complete idiot, I was rude and unfeeling. I embarrassed you in front of Sir Rupert and the stable hands. I lied, as I think of you as more than a manservant. I was cross that I didn't get my own horse, yet you got yours. I know it was the right decision, but my bull headedness wouldn't allow me to see that."

Merlin hugged him, paying strict attention to what Arthur was saying. He knew that it was hard for Arthur to apologise and he intended to take it all in. He'd already forgiven him, however it might be interesting to hear the Mighty One, verbally grovel.

"I was too proud to apologise. My heart was prompting me, yet the message never reached my brain. When you spoke to Gidun, as he was pushing into your chest and you scratched his head and let him snuffle in your hair... Merlin," Arthur started to lose it, "... I was jealous of him! Arthur Pendragon, was jealous of a bay gelding because he was showing you that he liked you and you were loving him back. And I wanted you to treat me like that as well... and I sat there and you ignored me..."

Merlin remembered refusing to raise his eyes to Arthur and felt guilty but he didn't interrupt.

Arthur closed his eyes for a moment to catch his breath. "When we reached the cave and Gidun went in and I was left all by myself I was scared, in case you would hand me my bedroll and tell me to stay elsewhere. When you called me 'Sire' I knew that I deserved it and I put myself into your position and realised that I was not only rude but cruel to you."

Arthur again took time to compose himself. A tear ran down his face, Merlin wiped it away with the pad of his thumb, gently kissing his wet cheek. "Merlin, when I felt your hand and you asked me to forgive you, for not doing anything wrong, asking me to hold you; I realised that you are the man, that it wouldn't hurt me to emulate. Hunith and you might have lived in a little village but you were better prepared for life than I will ever be. Please Merlin, be my friend again and help me be a credit to your love."

Merlin was going to say something but he realised it was now in the past. Gaius used to tell him that he was an optimist but spending hours reliving pain while planning revenge accomplished little. Saying, I forgive you but with strings attached, meant nothing. He needed none of that but there was something he really wanted; something else more important, so he raised himself on his elbows, kissed Arthur and said, "Arthur, emulate this but only kisses and cuddles!"

They fell back to sleep in each other's arms.

Hours later, Merlin woke and realised that Arthur had been true to his promise, his arms were still around him and his breath ruffled his hair tickling his neck. He didn't want to break the spell so he lay there. Arthur had poured his heart out and as Merlin never harboured a grudge, once Arthur had held him and apologized, those hurt feelings were out of the picture, blown away as he wouldn't be needing them.

He extricated himself from Arthur's arms. As he stood up, he was welcomed by the nickering of the other cave dwellers. He watered and fed them. He coaxed the fire and built it up. Breakfast was next on the agenda. He heard Arthur get up as he prepared it. He felt arms around his waist and he laid his head back on Arthur's shoulder. "Breakfast is ready. We have a full day of riding ahead of us."

"We don't have time to...?"

"No, we don't, Arthur."

"Tonight?"

"Maybe, if you behave yourself!" Merlin laughed as Arthur gave him a peck on the back of his neck.

He packed up with Arthur's help which sort of surprised him as Arthur was mainly an observer of people setting up and breaking down camps.

Merlin looked around his favourite cave and realised that it hadn't been the night that he had expected but, ever the optimist, was confident their return stay would be more like old times.

Arthur had insisted that Merlin ride Gidun but he had refused laughing, "Arthur, it gives me a chance to admire the two men in my life with one glance!"

They made good time and arrived late afternoon at a little village inn. Merlin got a room arranging for an evening meal and breakfast. He almost forgot Arthur's name but then remembered it giving it to the landlord's wife. He said they were peddlers. They stabled the horses, locking their supplies in their room and went across to the alehouse.

Merlin didn't want to drink as he knew from past experience that a stressed Arthur, sometimes overdid it. Arthur wondered if Merlin had really forgiven him for his outburst in the stable yard. He was certainly more subdued and Merlin had caught him glancing at him frequently. Whenever their eyes made contact, Merlin couldn't help but grin .

"Cheer up, Arthur," he'd finally said, "You're only allowed to put your foot in your mouth once on every trip."

They were both hungry and supper was surprisingly good. They turned in, lying in the dark in a strange room with the sounds of a busy inn around them. The cots were nothing more than narrow shelves, so Arthur couldn't help commenting that Merlin should feel quite at home. Actually with their own bedrolls, they became more comfortable. Arthur had decided that they should move the cots to make one bed but he was disappointed to find that they were secured to the floor.

Merlin thought, absence makes the heart grow fonder, or was that stronger, he wondered and fell asleep.

* * *

><p>The hustle and bustle of the new day, awakened them at daybreak. People were up breakfasting and leaving. Wagons, horses, all modes of transports from drays to shanks's mare were on the roads. Today was market day, the perfect cover for Arthur and Merlin, or Matt and Waldo to continue their trip.<p>

The horses had been well looked after and Merlin tipped the hostler for his care. They traveled miles before taking a lunch break. Merlin heard water and suggested that it was time to have lunch. He and Arthur had not talked as much as he had expected, riding in companionable silence enjoying the scenery.

On a couple of occasions, Merlin's knee had bumped Arthur's leg and they were conscious of the electrical surges between them. Arthur pulled his leg back, moving his horse closer to Merlin's. As he was leaning down to put his hand on his thigh, Merlin's chestnut shied away, not as used to the proximity of Gindun as Mulgan, Arthur's horse was.

"Two nights without me and already you've become bashful, Merlin?" Arthur had said as he regained his balance.

Merlin brought his horse back again and Arthur grabbed his knee. He liked having contact with Arthur, it made him feel wanted.

"That, Merlin, is not a shy grin by any means, it's almost lecherous. Quick learner, are you?"

"Not as quick as you, your Sireness! I can't count the number of lessons which you have mastered from Gaius's compendium!"

"Ooh! Big word, do you know what it means...?"

They found the stream and forded it, tying their horses to the trees. Arthur came up behind Merlin pretending to push him into the water. Merlin turned and looked at him, studying Arthur's face. He touched his chin running his hands along his jawline to his ears. Arthur lent in to kiss him but Merlin pulled back. "Not yet, Arthur..." He kissed the point where his jaw met his ear and repeated it on the other side. Arthur again tried to kiss him but again he pulled back, "Wait..."

Arthur relaxed, knowing that it would be worth the wait if that was what Merlin wanted. He dropped his hands to Merlin's hips, waiting. Merlin suddenly took off back to the trees, "Catch me if you can!"

He did!

Smiling, Merlin sang a few snatches of a song. Arthur said, "What is it?"

Merlin shrugged, "Don't know, my Mam used to sing it. Can't remember it all but something about... _raise __you up on eagles' wings, bear you on the breath of dawn, make you to shine like the sun and hold you in the palm of his hand_..."

Arthur said nothing, so Merlin glanced at him and could tell that the words had touched him. "They're beautiful thoughts aren't they?" Leaning over, he put his arms around him.

The gathered up the horses and got back on the trail again, tomorrow, they would be leaving the kingdom of Camelot and making their way into the kingdom of Lancastion. They would have to be careful and as peddler-in-chief and sidekick, their best plan would be to mix with travelers and go via market towns.

They'd both be happy to reach their destination and have a few days of leisure. Once the Earl had completed his side of the agreement, they could make their way back to Camelot.

By the time the sun was beginning to go down and it was getting chilly, they could see the next town on the horizon. They decided to upgrade their accommodation so Arthur rode ahead to find something to his liking. He found a more prosperous inn, making sure that dressed as they were, they would fit in with the other guests. He noticed wagons and trading vehicles out the back.

"Yep," the landlord said, "I can offer a room, one left, a two-bedder, private and quiet, bedroom and a room good for sitting with table and chairs. You can check it if you have a mind to." Arthur had a mind to, so was given the key. Arthur agreed that it was suitable for him and his man and large enough to keep their supplies safe. He handed the man a silver coin placing another on the table and said, "Is it possible to have supper sent up to the room?"

"Certainly, Sir," the man said, picking up the second coin. "My girl will bring it up, just send your man down when you want it."

Arthur found Merlin, they handed the horses over to the hostler after removing the valuable supplies. Merlin flipped the man a small silver coin and promised another the next morning if the horses had been well looked after and all the tack was there. He knew that the chap probably bedded down with the horses and a little extra cash never went amiss.

You would have thought, Arthur was showing Merlin around a castle when he led him into their humble abode. It was private, their own staircase and better than anything it had a family sized bed. "Great," Arthur smiling beguilingly, "It's a large bed, I won't have bruises from your kicking me." He then took some material out of the supplies and placed it down the middle of the bed. "This, my love is your side and that is mine. Cross under penalty of death!"

Merlin's face dropped, was Arthur serious? "But, Arthur, we haven't...," Merlin's ear tips turned pink as Arthur stared at him seeming not to understand. "Arthur, you know..."

"Sorry, Merlin, I don't know what you're talking about... Spit it out man!"

A flustered Merlin said, "Arthur, _Volume: I, Chapter: IX, Section: XXX_. You remember, don't you?"

Arthur thought, he scratched his head, counted on his fingers and nodded, suddenly his head came up as if he had finally figured it out. "Oh, Merlin! Shame on you! Did you just ask your Crown Prince to have sex with you?"

There was a tap on the door and Arthur said, "Enter." An older man came in with kindling to get the logs going in the fireplace; Arthur slipped him a copper and asked him to notify the landlord that they were ready for their supper. They removed their jackets and boots and sat stretched out in front of the fire enjoying the warmth.

In no time, there was a voice at the door saying, Supper, Sir!"

Merlin jumped up and padded across the floor saying, "Ow!" He opened the door and smiled taking a platter of food with a jug of cider, from a little girl of about ten.

"My mother says she hopes you like it." Merlin handed the girl a copper and thanked her.

He carried the platter to the table and put it down, sitting down immediately to look at the ball of his foot.

"Arthur, I've got a huge splinter stuck in my foot."

"Poor Baby!" was the only sympathy he got from Arthur.

The meal again was very appetizing, venison pie with some sausages, mashed turnips with apples and cider.

Finally, they were ready to turn in, Merlin helped Arthur undress and folded all their clothes carefully. He was quite enamoured with his new trousers, shirt and green jacket. They might be well worn but they kept him warm and were of good quality. He wondered if Arthur was going to let him keep them.

He was still complaining about his foot. He had sharp shooting pain every now and again. In desperation of getting anywhere with the evening's entertainment, Arthur told him to lie on his stomach and he would hold a candle to his foot to see if he could find the offending splinter. Merlin bent his knees back and Arthur sat on the fire side of the bed and ran his hand over Merlin's foot. He must have caught the splinter as Merlin kicked out and sent him off the end of the bed.

Merlin was apologetic but Arthur could see his shoulders shaking so he felt that two could play that game.

But first he had to get the splinter out. He could see it and told Merlin, "It's there all right but I can't get it out, it's huge." He now had Merlin's undivided attention. "Hang on!" Arthur went over to his belt, took his dagger making sure that Merlin saw it.

"Arthur, maybe it isn't too bad, I can live with it."

"You most certainly can't, you'll have a pig's foot by tomorrow morning. Hold still!"

Arthur put the knife on the bed and ran his finger nail, firmly down his foot. Merlin squeaked. "Hold still, Gaius isn't here so I will have to be careful not to cut you too deeply. I've almost got it, there! Does that feel better?"

Merlin reached back with his hand, running it over the ball of his foot and it didn't hurt any more. Arthur handed him the miniscule sliver, studying it carefully, he said, "So little and being able to cause so much pain..."

"Careful, don't get blood on the blankets." Merlin obediently stayed where he was. Arthur bent over and licked the place where the splinter had been. He ran his tongue up to Merlin's big toe and licked around it before sucking on it. He knew Merlin was ticklish but this was ridiculous. He was writhing on the bed in either agony or ecstasy, Arthur wasn't sure.

Merlin managed to get his toe back and rolled over to face Arthur. "Where did you learn that?"

Arthur thought, then said, "It was either Nanny-What's-Her-Name when I was a baby or _Vol: I, Chapter: VII,._

"I don't remember that," said Merlin.

"That's alright, don't worry," Arthur told him, "We'll just take our time to review everything we've learned"

"Tonight?"

"No, Merlin My Love, we have all our lives to master that 'compendium'!"

"I love you Arthur!

"Me too, Merlin!"

Merlin smiled. Arthur blew out the candle and they lay hand in hand for a while listening to the crackling fire. Merlin rolled over to face Arthur and within a few seconds, Arthur was no longer conscious of the sound of the fire.


	9. Chapter 9

**CHAPTER 9 : ALL THE WORLD'S A STAGE**

They decided to travel as close as possible to their destination today. The fact that they were no longer in Camelot was in the back of their minds.

They kept up a steady trot and were eating up the miles when Merlin noticed that Billy was lame. They tried to see if he could walk out of it but he couldn't. They made the decision to leave him and pick him up on their return. A local farmer agreed to turn him out with his sheep and keep an eye on him. They divided up their samples and took as much as they could with them. Couldn't pass as peddlers without wares!

Arthur cracked up when he heard Merlin talking to Billy, "Now, you behave yourself, get better and we'll pick you up in a few days."

"He doesn't know what you're saying, you idiot"

"Of course, he does, Arthur, he's an intelligent horse."

Anyway, as Arthur and Merlin left, Billy kept calling to them obviously not impressed with his new companions. "See, Arthur, I know horses!"

Actually with two horses, they seemed to make better time and stopped in a market town for a bite to eat.

Merlin decided that they should offer some of their wares for sale. Arthur left him to it. Merlin laid out the ribbons, lace and small swatches of fabric. His ready smile, happy outgoing character, and willingness to chatter, had farmers' wives, ladies and their maids surrounding him. All the ladies clamoured to see what he had to offer. He did brisk trade and Arthur sat on a wall outside the alehouse and watched Merlin in action. Their remaining samples, packed up, he finally, came to Arthur.

Arthur whose nose was slightly out of joint, seeing all the women fussing his friend, said "Alright, Merlin, hand over the money."

"Arthur, I worked hard for this." He said handing it to Arthur.

"The goods weren't yours to begin with, they belonged to me as a representative of my father."

"But Arthur, you didn't sell them. Therefore, I should get at least a ten percent seller's commission"

"A what?"

Merlin shrugged and said, "I don't know, Arthur, it just seemed the right thing to say! The ideal would be for us to arrive back in Cave Two without any wares, leaving behind us many happy women." He cheekily winked at Arthur who laughed and handed him back all the money...

"Next alehouse, Arthur, the drinks will be on me!"

They mounted again and were almost to the next town when they were stopped by some knights. Merlin gave Arthur the eye. They insisted that Arthur and Merlin dismount so they could search their packs and just generally make a nuisance of themselves as without battles to fight they were at a loose end.

Merlin was impressed with the way that Arthur handled himself. He was meek and only too willing to answer any question asked. One question threw him though. A knight asked if they were citizens of Lancastion and if they had noticed a couple of well-dressed characters possibly with destriers going their way. Arthur ignored the first questions and answered the second in the negative.

"Well, keep your eyes open as they might cause trouble. If you see them, report it to the next knight you see."

Merlin felt a shiver go down his back. One of the other knights turned to him and asked him his name and where he was going. "Waldo and I'm a peddler's dogsbody, going with my master heaven knows where..."

The knight was obviously bored with the patrol and asked him what his master was like. Arthur had turned and now Merlin had the floor. He said in a confidential tone, "A right royal bastard, he can be!" Arthur eyes squinted warning him but Merlin was enjoying himself.

"Mr. Matt here, his family's business went under and he has to try to rebuild it so we're now peddling ladies' ribbons and laces. I wanted to try out with men's stuff but I was told in no uncertain terms, that I didn't have a flair for business so I should shut up." Merlin laughed, nodding his head at Arthur and chuckling to the knights, "Guess his family didn't have much of a flair for it either, or we wouldn't be here now."

One of the knights turned to Arthur and asked, "What were you before?"

Quick as a wink, Merlin laughed and said, "Well, he wasn't a bloody prince!"

The knights laughed. "Not from these parts then?" one asked.

"No," Merlin replied, "But my mother's grandfather's second wife was from here and I think there must still be family around here somewhere. Maybe, you know the Smiths?"

The knights laughed and told them to be on their way.

Arthur mounted and moved off. He called over his shoulder, "Waldo!"

Merlin said in parting, "Have to go as his royal, bloody highness calls."

He trotted off leaving the knights laughing. He caught up with Arthur. Once they were further away. Arthur pulled up and said, "What in hell's name was that Merlin?"

"What?"

"That fabricated story about my family and that silly accent that you used?"

"Well, it worked so well with the ladies, that I decided to try it out again. It's a talent I have that I didn't know about!"

"Merlin, sometimes, I wonder how I've put up with you so long."

Merlin pulled his horse next to Arthur, reached for him and said, "Because of this...!"

"Not here, Merlin." Never one to pay attention, Arthur had to again say, "Merlin...!"

They kept up a steady pace and arrived on the outskirts of Mancunium at dusk. Stopping at an ale house, they decided to have supper and then possibly ask the whereabouts of the farm, where they were to meet up with Dunstan, the earl's contact. Seems, it was just about one mile back.

They decided to walk the horses as it was dark and they didn't need any broken legs. Suddenly the moon appeared and it was easier. They arrived at a rather rundown farm with an outbuilding. There was a candle in the window so Arthur knocked at the door and asked for Dunstan.

An elderly man with his hand cupped behind his ear, told them that he would be back early tomorrow morning.

Arthur decided that as they were there, they would stay put. He asked the farmer if they could stay in the outbuilding. The man said they were welcome to put their horses in the stable and share the floor in front of the fire with his Bob and the other dogs.

Merlin glanced at Arthur and wanted to laugh. Arthur was pleasant and thanked the man. They stabled the horses and carried their bedrolls into the farmhouse's main room. The farmer went to his own cot and Merlin looked at Arthur and couldn't resist saying, "...and the Mighty shall fall!"

Merlin brushed some of the leaves away with his foot and placed the bedrolls on the dirt floor. At least, they would be warm and dry. They lay down. One of the dogs came over and decided that Merlin's bedroll was where he intended to sleep.

Arthur whispered, "Maybe you can share mine." He put his hand out to touch Merlin and the dog, opened its eyes, keeping its head on Merlin's legs and growled. Merlin told it, "Easy, boy!" and the dog thumped its tail.

Arthur laughed, it seemed friendly enough, so he once again went to touch Merlin but this time, the dog stood up and growled, telling Arthur in no uncertain terms that he had chosen Merlin for the night and Arthur should seek company elsewhere.

"Goodnight, Love!" said Merlin. "Now be a good boy, Bob or who ever you are and get some sleep." The dog thumped its tail.

Arthur couldn't sleep. He was thinking about tomorrow. Merlin slept like a log, with the dog lying at his back facing Arthur. 'No funny business tonight,' Arthur thought to himself.

* * *

><p>Merlin had slept well and when his sleeping companion went to the door, he got up to let him and the rest of his canine family out. He checked the horses, fed and watered them and washed quickly at the pump. Arthur met him there.<p>

"Arthur, did you sleep well?"

"Not as well as I would have, if you hadn't had a sleeping partner."

"Nice dog, didn't move all night and wasn't demanding at all as someone I know, can often be."

Arthur put his arm across his shoulders, saying quietly, "Good thing, you slept well last night, Merlin, as tonight, it might be a different matter."

Merlin laughed and looking shocked said, "Excuse me, Sire, am I to understand that you are propositioning me?"

The farmer's wife laid before them a substantial breakfast, of eggs, sausages and bread with a mug of cider.

They were sitting outside when a man on a good looking horse rode up, dismounted and said with a slight bow, "Sire, Dunstan at your service!"

Merlin moved out of the way allowing Arthur and Dunstan a chance to talk in private. He went to saddle the horses and Arthur finally called him over, "This is Merlin, we can talk in front of him. Merlin," he nodded toward the other fellow and said, "Dunstan!"

They mounted but not before Merlin had pulled out a length of blue ribbon and had given it to the farmer's wife smiling. Her face lit up and her husband smiled. Arthur had already left money for the night's accommodation and breakfast on the table.

Merlin said, "Good Bye," to his bed mate and rode off after the others.

Their next accommodation was Wilmslow, a small, fortified stone castle, complete with towers and walls. Guards stood back as they rode into the courtyard. 'This is more like it, the luxuries of life!' Merlin thought to himself.

A servant, carrying the saddle bags, had shown Merlin to the guest chamber where Arthur would be staying. He would for all intents and purposes, be sleeping in the antechamber. A bath had been filled for the Prince and while he was bathing, Merlin laid out a fresh shirt for his first meeting with the Earl. His peddlar's clothes were of good quality but subdued. Merlin helped Arthur dress and was told not to waste the water as he could probably do with a good wash himself. Merlin murmured, "What all alone, Sire?" For which he received a not too gentle clout across the head.

Merlin would not attend Arthur while he was here. He would have one of the household servants at his disposable and his meals would be served by the dining staff. Merlin was on a mini holiday. Once he was clean, he dressed in a fresh tunic and decided to go explore the castle, to find the stables and the staff dining hall.

The horses' accommodation was excellent; they had been groomed and all the tack had been cleaned. He thought he could get used to this life style. He made his way to the servants' hall and had a light lunch.

The staff was friendly. Not being someone who liked to do nothing, he joined up with a group who were thatching a cottage and spent a pleasant afternoon. It reminded him of Ealdor.

Returning to Arthur's chambers he met Wuldric, Arthur's designated manservant and was invited to join him for supper once Arthur had been escorted to the Dining Hall. The older man obviously knew who Arthur was as, he called him sire while he helped him dress. As Arthur had traveled in disguise, clothes had been supplied by his host. Merlin appreciated the style of the clothes that Arthur had worn to supper and thought that his prince looked not only very handsome but immaculately turned out. He hoped that the earl had no unattached daughters.

The manservant later told Merlin he had been in service with the earl's family for twenty odd years since he was ten. He was happy, had a good wife, two boys and a girl. He confessed that he was actually the manservant to the earl's eldest son but it was nice to have a break and meet other people.

Merlin didn't give too much away about his life. He mentioned that he was the ward of the Court Physician and the prince's manservant. Wuldric mentioned that he had expected someone older. He felt that it was a big responsibility for someone so young in years. "I'm older than I look..." Merlin added.

Supper over, they returned to the guest chambers and waited for Arthur to return. Merlin made himself scarce until the prince had dismissed Wuldric, saying, "Thank you, that will be all for now. I would like to be woken a little after dawn with breakfast within two hours. If I need anything overnight, my manservant will see to me."

Merlin still sitting on the cot in the antechamber, grinned to himself. 'Well, at least that sounds promising!'

Wuldric bowed and left, Merlin checked that the doors were locked and barred. Opposite the fire was an upholstered high backed bench, perfectly sized for two people, in particular a prince and his only love.

They were able to lean against each other and enjoy the fire.

"How was your meeting? Did everything go according to plan?"

"The Earl is alert and personable, though not very healthy so we had the meeting in his private chambers. He did come down for supper and I met his family and his advisors. He said that I deserved a day to recuperate from our trip so tomorrow he has arranged a day of hunting. That will also give him and his advisors time to prepare the letters for me to take back home." He felt Merlin sag beside him. "Luckily, you will not be in attendance as I have the Master of the Hunt's assistant as my bearer. I'm looking forward to it."

"Rather you than me," Merlin said, "But will you be safe without me?"

Arthur, practically fell off the seat laughing. "This, from someone, who can't stand the sight of blood and doesn't like picking up dead things! Yes, Merlin, I'm sure, I will be quite safe and will probably enjoy the day without you, my dear Waldo."

Merlin was too comfortable to move but he made the effort and swung his legs over Arthur's knees. The upholstered sides on this seat were excellent and he decided that he would have one made for Arthur's chambers. Giles the castle carpenter should be able to do it without any trouble.

"Merlin, I know that after a half day of doing nothing you are not tired, but I am. Get up, as I want to go to bed, I've has a busy day and the thought of a day's hunting is wonderful. Would you like me to bring you back something, a unicorn's horn for instance?"

He said, "Arthur, don't even joke about that." He put his fingers to touch the little gold unicorn which he usually wore around his neck, but remembered that Arthur had told him to remove it for this trip.

The bed was firm but comfortable, the linens fresh and smelling of lavender. Merlin lay beside Arthur and thought of the perks of being the friend of the Crown Prince. Arthur turned to him and said quietly, "I'm not _that_ tired, Merlin!" gently elbowing him.

But, Merlin was apparently asleep. He snored softly... wondering how long it would take Arthur before deciding to waken him. He counted to twenty before he felt Arthur blowing in his ear. He flapped his hand in that direction as if brushing off an annoying fly and rolled on his side away from Arthur. Arthur waited and finally ran his little finger up Merlin's spine. Merlin was very ticklish and almost jumped out of his skin before he turned over, scrunching up into a little ball this time facing Arthur. Arthur had still not said anything and Merlin was impressed with his control. Waiting until, Arthur had relaxed planning his next move, Merlin quick as a cat, grabbed him...

Much later, Arthur said, "Merlin, we have to get some sleep. I have to get up just after dawn and I will need my wits about me to hunt and then meet with the earl later in the day."

"You might but I don't have to get up early as I have free day ahead of me."

"Correction, Merlin, you have to get up and remake this bed properly and then high tail it into the antechamber before I am woken for breakfast."

Merlin said, "Oh Shit!"


	10. Chapter 10

**CHAPTER 10 : ALL CREATURES GREAT AND SMALL**

By the following evening, when Merlin saw Arthur, he could tell that a day's hunting had been good for him. He'd had his meeting with the Earl and supper was next on his agenda. Wuldric would come to help him dress for supper and escort him to the earl's private chambers for a meal with the earl and his advisors. Arthur expected to receive the missives for Uther after the meal. The plan was for them to leave early the following morning.

Arthur sat on the high backed bench in front of the fire. Merlin got them goblets of wine and they sat relaxing. They had some time before he had to get dressed, so Merlin brought him up to date on his day. He said that he had thoroughly enjoyed the change of pace. Arthur was pleased but had really missed his being by his side.

"Strange as it may seem, Merlin, I missed having you at my shoulder all day. I turned a couple of times to speak to you and you weren't there."

"Well, actually, Arthur, I didn't miss you one bit..." Merlin grinned, "... except for this."

"Merlin, "Not now..."

"Arthur, life is so short as Gaius always says, 'When the sun shines make potions'!"

"You're making that up, Gaius never said such a thing."

"But he could have, Arthur. Well, it was something like that ..."

Having wedged Arthur, between the back and the side of the high backed bench, he showed him that life might be short but it could be sweet.

They relaxed, cuddling against each other until Wuldric knocked on the door and Merlin went over to let him in and then went into the antechamber. Wuldric assisted Arthur to dress, then escorted him to the Earl's chambers and Merlin tagged along as Wuldric and he were off to the servants' hall after that.

The door was opened and Arthur walked in but after a few words turned and called to Merlin that the Earl would like to see him. Merlin's heart dropped.

He took a step inside the chamber and stood there waiting for the axe to fall.

The elderly man seated at the table smiled and said, "So, you're the young man who will be accompanying our Crown Prince home. Your King must have great confidence in you, to allow the two of you to come all the way here without accompanying knights.

Merlin said, "Thank you, my lord." He bowed and left the chamber, glancing at Arthur who was beaming that Merlin's worth had not only been realised but received recognition.

Uldric said, "For one so young, you've come a long way. It's been a pleasure knowing you, Merlin."

"Thank you, Uldric, it's a job to be done but Arthur is a great master." Merlin thought, '... and not a bad lover either!'

The rest of the evening flew by and Wuldric had soon left Arthur in Merlin's care.

Arthur said, "That was very kind of the Earl to recognise your worth."

"He doesn't know the half of it, does he Arthur?"

Arthur propped himself on his elbow, looked down at Merlin saying, "No, he doesn't...and... Merlin, I wonder sometimes if I show sufficiently how much I value you."

"You could always talk your father into making me a knight." He mumbled under his breath.

"As if that will ever happen, you'd have the kingdom on its knees in days."

"Not, if I had help, Arthur."

"And who, pray tell would help you?"

Trying to be serious but preparing to evade any physical retribution, Merlin piped up, "Gawaine might!"

Later on, Merlin realised that Arthur was quite able to give any help that he might need. Anyway, he didn't want to be a knight. As it was, he was already living a double life.

Dawn came so fast and before they knew it, they were reunited with Gidun and Conker and leaving the castle, Arthur carrying the all important papers, strapped to his chest under his tunic. The plan was to ride as far as possible each day, finding accommodation by dusk. If necessary they would sleep rough, not their first choice but it wasn't as if they hadn't done it before.

Merlin reminded him that they would have to pick up Billy on their way and hopefully there would be no knights to contend with.

They kept up a steady pace, the track was soft after last night's rain so they were able to canter for long stretches. Finally they recognized the farm where Billy was. Arthur paid for Billy's stay and the farmer's wife insisted giving them fresh food for when they stopped for lunch. Merlin gave her a present of some ribbon whether she would keep it or sell it would depend on her husband. Farming was a difficult life and every little bit counted. He sort of hoped, she'd have a chance to wear it in her hair. Billy was obviously not only better but frisky and he had no trouble keeping up with the other two horses.

Soon they had reached the area where they had been stopped by the knights but today, everything was clear.

Every now and again, they met farmers with livestock and other travelers with wagons but never overtook anyone going in their direction.

When the horses began to lag, Merlin insisted that they take a break for lunch and give the horses a rest.

"Gidun is tired, he's not used to carrying such a heavyweight as you, Arthur."

They pulled off the track when it next widened as there was a stream. It was good place to have lunch. Merlin let the horses drink then tied them to some trees. The horses stood there, heads lowered, dozing, alternating their weight from one leg to the other.

Arthur couldn't figure how far they were from the last inn in which they had stayed. But Merlin reminded him that they hadn't yet come to where he had first experienced a career in sales "That was fun, Arthur, I might like to do that again."

"Well," Arthur reminded him, "You'd had previous experience as you sold yourself to me, hook line and sinker."

Merlin retorted, "Arthur, it was harder to sell ribbons and lace than it was to make you fall for me. I just had to wink and you were putty in my hands. All mine!"

Sure enough, they came to the little village and a few of the woman seeing them, waved and called and Merlin, immediately was his charming self waving back. He glanced at Arthur whose face told him that he was not impressed.

"Worried about a little competition Arthur? Don't think you'll be able to keep me for yourself?"

Arthur laughed, "Merlin, if you feel about me, the way I think you do. I doubt that I need to worry. Do I?"

"Maybe not but I would hate to think that our love would become old hat and that I might have to spice it up with a certain knight, you and I know."

Merlin put his heels into Conker taking off down the track followed by Billy. Gidun not wanted to be left behind soon caught up to them.

Arthur smiled at him, "As if, Merlin, that would ever be necessary!" Arthur knew deep down, that his love for Merlin was solid. He also knew that Merlin realised the depth of this love, thus allowing him to feel at ease making such statements.

They rode on, passing the inn where they had stayed. They were eager to get home, every now and again discussing the happenings over the last six days. Arthur in his mind recalled his stupidity and Merlin's absolute kindness in apologising first. He also vowed that their last night of this mission, which would be spent in Cave Two would not be fraught with any negativity.

Merlin was thinking of his return to Camelot and his need to really push forward with his plan to make living there, more enjoyable for both of them.

It was almost dark and they spied an inn, Merlin went in to find out if there were any vacancies. "Sorry, no rooms, nor any beds available in the common rooms either."

"Is there anywhere else nearby? We only really need it for one night and will be on our way early tomorrow shortly after dawn. With the look of the sky, there'll be a storm and I'd rather not sleep rough."

The man hummed and hawed and then finally said, "There's a farm a way down the road near the river. I know that the farmer has an empty stable so you could ask there. Tell him Jurad sent you."

Merlin returned to Arthur. "The good news is that we won't be camping outside as the landlord said we could maybe stay at the farm further on."

The farmer changed his mind, when he saw the colour of the coin. He told them they'd be welcome to stay and that his wife could cook something for them if they didn't mind having farm fare. They accepted willingly.

The stable was dry and the rain started as Merlin got the horses settled. They explored the place and found an area deep in fresh hay. It would be warm and soft. Arthur made a bowl shaped hollow and laid their bedrolls in it. Someone called out and a young boy brought two trenchers of steaming stew and some bread and the stub of a candle. He told them that there was a pump in the yard if they were thirsty. They heard his father calling and he skedaddled off.

They sat side by side on rickety stools and ate the meal, listening to the beginnings of the storm. Merlin smiled at Arthur, "Rain!"

"You and your rain, Merlin." He took the trencher from Merlin's hand and led him to the bedrolls.

The storm intensified, at one point Merlin woke and knew that he was being watched. He glanced down at Arthur who was fast asleep curled against him. He stayed still and as his eyes grew accustomed to the dark, he spied a big orange cat, sitting watching them. 'Well,' he thought, 'that should keep the rats away.' And fell asleep.

The sun finally came over the horizon. Merlin laughed remembered Tosh's question as to how they woke up on time. Arthur and he never seemed to have any trouble waking up.

The same young boy brought them some gruel and once their horses were saddled, Merlin took the time to walk back to the cottage to give the farmer's wife one of the last pieces of ribbon.

Again they made exceptional time, the roads were good and not busy. Today, they would spend the night in Uther's kingdom if all went according to plan. But nothing ever does and as they went through a very dark wood, the hair on Merlin's neck stood on end and an arrow whistled by him hitting Billy who took off.

Arthur and he took off after him figuring that the assailants were probably on foot. They had kept going until they heard a scream, Merlin knew it was Billy. They turned the corner and Billy was halfway off the track. Merlin was off Conker and beside him in no time. He saw the arrow in his shoulder and was about to turn to Arthur asking him for help in removing it when he realised that Billy's left fore leg was broken. Darkness descended for Merlin as he knew, what had to happen. He hated hunting, he hated killing but now he was going to have to accept it as the last gift that he could give the little packhorse.

He turned to Arthur tears streaming down his face. He knew he couldn't do it. He trusted that Arthur could and would make a clean job of it. He turned to Billy, talking to him as he removed his tack. He moved him until with a grunt he fell over, Merlin sat on his neck pinning him down, talking quietly, telling him what a wonderful little horse he was and soon he would be cantering away. Arthur came up beside him and said, "Merlin, please don't look." Merlin closed his eyes.

Arthur took his hunting knife and slipped it into the jugular of the little horse. Billy thrashed, his lungs heaving a couple of times, his legs jerked, then his breathing became laboured and finally he tensed then fell silent.

Bending over, Arthur pulled Merlin up onto his feet; he put his arms around his shoulders holding him tightly. They stood there saying nothing. Merlin was overcome with the reality of what had just happened. He held him for the longest time and then murmured, "You're too soft hearted for this cruel world, and I love you, Merlin, all the more because of it." Merlin said something but Arthur couldn't make it out as he had his head in Arthur's neck and he was sniffing at the same time.

Arthur wanted to smile as his neck was wet with tears and Merlin's eyelashes tickled. With whom else in the world would he stand, hugging in the middle of the road? At this point, he didn't care if Uther and all the knights of Camelot were to come around the corner, he knew that he would not have let Merlin go.

It was strange, as he felt as if he were benefiting from the hugging. As if Merlin was giving him comfort and then he realised that he was conscious of Merlin's complete trust in him and he was momentarily scared at the prospect of such a responsibility.

Arthur eventually pulled back to look at him and wiped the tears on his friend's face with his sleeve. Merlin wiped his nose on his own sleeve and looked sheepishly at Arthur. "Come on, Merlin," he said softly and led him back to the other horses who were getting a bit antsy because of the smell of the blood. Arthur tied the extra tack on Gidun, insisting that Merlin climb up on him and that he would take the chestnut. He was sure that Gidun would pick up on Merlin's mood and look after him. Merlin was slumped over and Arthur saw him take one more look at Billy before they turned the corner.

The rest of the ride was very sober. Gidun receiving no instructions from Merlin, did pick up on his state of mind and kept twitching his ears back. He moved over closer to Conker and followed Arthur without hesitation. Arthur realised that their hope of getting a good day's ride in was hopeless. Finally he got the horses to trot and Merlin never raised his eyes from Gidun's mane trusting his horse to look after him.

They came to a market town and Arthur got some apples, a half loaf of bread and some cider. They kept riding until they came to a stream and a meadow and took a break for lunch. Merlin had not spoken since telling Billy that he would soon be cantering away.

Arthur was a little worried, he took over the job of getting something down Merlin. He took a mug and poured some cider into it, he broke up some bread, dipped it in the cider and handed it to Merlin, saying, "Eat!"

Merlin took the soaked bread and had to be prompted to put it in his mouth. When he had eaten a fair share and finished his cider. Arthur quickly ate his portion. He offered him an apple which he'd cut in half and he took it but made no move to eat it.

Arthur knew that they needed to get back on the road. He told him to get up as they needed to be going. Merlin walked to Gidun handed him his half of the apple and put his arms around his neck, burying his face in his mane. Then he mounted and they were on their way again.

They must have ridden in silence for another hour but Merlin's head was up and he seemed conscious of riding. He suddenly turned to Arthur and said just one level above a whisper. "Arthur, as I sat on the track with Billy, I thanked God, that it wasn't Gidun."

Arthur wasn't really surprised that Merlin would share such a private thought. He knew he was hopeless at keeping secrets but he was honoured that he would take him into his confidence and he knew then and there, that the extent of their intimacy was not based solely on the physical, it reached deeper; they were completely united body and soul.

He reached over to put his hand on his knee and smiled softly saying, "Merlin, I think that is understandable. Gidun is a very special horse. We did for Billy, the right thing. You have no reason to worry.

Merlin put his hand over Arthur's and gave him a smile and at that moment. Merlin knew that as long as they were together, they could face most problems by relying upon and supporting each other.

The track was becoming busier as they approached the village where they had spent the night in the inn. Arthur remembered little about it except that the furniture was nailed to the floor! He asked one of the other travelers if there was inn within easy riding distance of this one coming up. The man said another ten miles, so Arthur decided to head to it, if they were overtaken by darkness they would have to camp. Merlin wasn't going to sleep well anyway, after his horrendous experience.

They could see the lights of the inn as they approached. Arthur went in and got a private room for the night as he had no intention of sharing with other travelers. He led the horses to the stables, Merlin trailed him waiting outside. He gave the hostler a coin as he had seen Merlin do and promised another one in the morning if he had taken good care of the horses. The groom looked puzzled at the extra harness and Arthur explained quietly that they had sold their packhorse.

He was getting hungry again so as he passed the landlord, he gave him a coin and asked if he would send up some supper. Merlin was still very quiet and dragged himself up the stairs. The room was comfortable and the bed was a good size. The meal was hot and plentiful, Merlin ate but had nothing to say. Arthur started to undress and looked at Merlin just standing there. He realised as he helped Merlin undress that this is what he did for him every day. Deep down he knew that he felt a satisfaction that he was able to help Merlin and was saddened by the sorrow that his friend was experiencing.

Merlin got into bed and curled up into a little ball. Arthur slid behind him, wrapping his arms around him holding him close. At some point in the night, Merlin woke up screaming. Arthur reached for him and Merlin turned to him saying, "They'd shot you, not Billy and I had to hold you down as they cut your throat..."

Arthur said, "Merlin, I'm here holding you."

With a little sigh, Merlin whispered, "I'm not a girl, am I, Arthur, because I cried over a horse?"

Arthur realised how unkind he must sometimes be even when he was only fooling. Obviously it had hurt Merlin more than he realised when he teased him calling him that. "No, you'll never be a girl, Merlin. I've also been very upset when I have had a favourite horse die. Life is very cruel sometimes but I remember Gaius years ago telling me that each of the hardest obstacles makes us stronger to face the next one."

"Did he really say that?"

"Yes, Merlin, he did." Arthur looking at the dying fire, thought, 'Well, he could have...'

"Keep hold of me tonight, won't you Arthur?"

"Tonight and always..."


	11. Chapter 11

**CHAPTER** **11 : WITHOUT RHYME OR REASON**

Today, they should ride into the kingdom of Camelot and by nightfall be in Cave Two. Arthur sighed, he felt the official packet strapped to his chest and realised that barring any unforeseen problems; they should be home in two days. They'd left the inn at daybreak, hoping to get a head start on any other travellers going in their direction.

Arthur used to riding in the lead, hated to be held up in traffic. They no longer looked like peddlers just a respectable gentleman travelling with his servant. They joined the main road from Mancurium to Londinium. It was a Roman Road so it was great for riding. Every ten to twelve miles, there were hamlets which had grown up on the sites where the Roman troops used to take rest stops. Arthur had learned from his tutor that there were thousands of miles of these roads as they linked all the important towns. They would follow the road for some time until they came to a little village called Wyeford. They would then turn south towards Camelot.

Merlin was in a much better frame of mind. The road was level and straight, the horses cantered for what seemed like miles. The sky was clear and it promised to be a pleasant day. Billy was at the back of his mind but it hurt less today than yesterday. He had even given Gidun back to Arthur and was riding Conker.

In the distance, they could see Wyeford and beyond, the hills which they knew were in Camelot. It was almost noon and they were both hungry, so decided they would stop for lunch, then push on for the cave. Merlin already felt it would be like being home, a second home, a place loved by both of them.

Lunch was bread, cheese, and cider. They got some apples to tide them through till supper. Merlin also bought some vegetables to supplement the dried fish, meat, grains and cheese which the kitchen had packed, what seems like weeks ago. Arthur suggested that he try to catch another pheasant or maybe a trout.

He'd learned from a Royal Gamesman, how to tickle trout so he was always eager to show Merlin his ability to catch a fish without a net or hook.

Merlin laughed, "Arthur, you must have been a poacher in a former life!"

"And what were you a..." Arthur stopped dead and looked at Merlin guiltily, he had intended to say girl but he'd stopped himself, in time.

Merlin leant into him laughing, "No, Arthur, I don't think I was a girl. Maybe, I was a wizard."

"Oh! No!" Arthur laughed, "Strike number two against you. First you love a man and then Uther has to learn that you are a wizard. He'll not be able to make up his mind as to why he is having you killed. Half a dozen of one and six of another!"

Merlin laughed, "Hopefully, neither!" He thought, 'I only hope you take it as well, when the time comes that I feel safe enough to tell you the truth.' He leaned over and gently kissed Arthur feeling his heart racing as Arthur returned his kiss.

They continued on there way and realised that they must now be in the kingdom of Camelot, they breathed a sigh of relief. Even though there were bandits and robbers across the whole area, there was something comforting about being back in their own kingdom. They made good time and soon could see the range of hills where Cave Two was located.

"Do you think that you will feel any differently towards Camelot, when you are the king, Arthur?"

"I don't know, there is all the responsibility; the citizens and the lands; the alliances with neighbouring kingdoms; it seems almost overwhelming at times. I hope my father stays healthy for many a year as I need guidance to reach the stage when I could feel comfortable being crowned Monarch."

"Will you still love me when you are king or will you feel that you should be consorting with someone of a higher status than a lowly manservant."

"Merlin, as my one and only love, your status is off the scale. You come before the King in my eyes. I pledged allegiance to him with my mind but you are the ruler of my heart and will be until it beats its last..."

"Beats its last what, Arthur, drum...?"

He would have pulled Merlin off the chestnut and plunked him in front on him on Gidun but then he realised that would certainly delay their trip. Merlin would find all sorts of ways to distract him. He settled for reaching over and letting his hand run slowing down his back, causing the ticklish Merlin to shudder and grin.

It was nice that the two horses were so used to each other, that they would allow close contact without either of them shying away. He realised that whoever had chosen the little chestnut and also poor Billy, for this trip must have had a good knowledge of horses. He would have to remind himself to find out who it was and give him credit for it. He knew his father would be shocked to hear him even think that but being with Merlin these last few years, had helped him realise the value of their staff. He'd watched how people appreciated all of Merlin's little personal words of thanks and, Arthur smiled, even ribbons...

"Merlin, when we get back, can you remind me to personally thank the person who chose Conker and Billy for this trip because he made an excellent choice."

"Arthur, sometimes you surprise me with your thoughtfulness to others; as long as you don't let it interfere with your thoughtfulness to me, tonight!" He grinned and cantered off ahead, Gidun galloping to catch up with him.

Merlin suddenly stopped and put his hand up to stop Arthur and put his fingers to his lips. He'd noticed that the birds were quiet.

Somewhere up ahead there was someone on foot, walking erratically. Arthur could also hear them. The feet moved in fits and starts. Merlin dismounted, handed his reins to Arthur and walked ahead. He crept around the corner hidden by the trees. In the middle of the path weaving from side to side was a man dressed in the brown cloak of a Camelot Squire in Training. He seemed drunk. 'Where had he got the cloak?' Merlin walked stealthy forward and reached to within two arms length when the person turned, an arrow in his chest, took one look at him, recognition crossing his face. He put out his hands as if pleading for help. He mumbled "Merlin..." and crumbled to the ground.

Merlin yelled, "Arthur!" as he fell on his knees beside the boy. His chest was covered with blood and Merlin could see by the small amount of arrow shaft visible that it had probably pierced him through. The fact that he was still able to walk was unbelievable. Merlin cradled him in his arms looking up at Arthur in shock. It was Daffyd, youngest brother of Sir Rodik.

Arthur came over and Daffyd whispered, "Sire?" Then, closed his eyes.

"Just rest, we'll take care of you." He turned to Merlin but Merlin just shook his head. Holding Daffyd, he had felt the tip of the arrow through his back.

He said to Arthur, "Why would he be alone?"

"He wouldn't, there must be at least one knight with him, more likely two and a group of squires."

Arthur leaned forward and said, "Daffyd, where are the others? Who was with you?"

Daffyd whispered something, at least three names. Arthur thought he picked up the name Leon. But where was he? Where were the others? He nodded at Merlin as he felt Daffyd would feel more comfortable speaking to Merlin.

Merlin leant towards the poor boy and lifted him up so he could breathe more easily. Seated on the ground, he held him in his arms against his chest making sure that the arrow tip was free of any pressure and talked to him softly. "What happened to you?"

Daffyd took a shallow breath grimacing, "...a border patrol...attacked by knights...Cenred..." he stopped to breathe Merlin motioned for Arthur to bring water.

Merlin only let him take little sips to keep his mouth moist, making it easier to speak.

He started again, "... shot... Alun... Marc died." Tears ran down his face. "Leon made us move on..."

Arthur's heart dropped, 'Leon, my God!'

Merlin kept giving Daffyd sips of water. "Who else was with you?"

Daffyd was getting harder to understand, "Sir Roger... Gavin"

Merlin was distracted, seeing Arthur put his face in his hands.

Arthur knew, as crown prince, he was indirectly responsible for them. It ran through his mind, 'They should have been safe. There had been no reports of trouble. It must have just been an exercise for the squires, accompanied by the knights. These squires would one day have become Knight In Training. Now, they would be contacting parents to tell of their sons' deaths.'

Daffyd was speaking again so quietly that Merlin had his ear practically to his lips. "Roger...dead." his head slipped onto his chest and Merlin picked up a very weak pulse. He was surprised that he had been able to give them so much information. Merlin was soaked with blood and Daffyd's face had become ashen.

Arthur had no weapons save his dagger and hunting knife. Merlin had a flash of Billy on the road. He was worried for Leon and Gavin. 'Where were they? How long had Daffyd been on the road?'

Daffyd moved again and said, "... river...ford...cottage..." He cried out, "... Mam...Da...?" His head slipped onto Merlin's chest. Merlin looked at the brave boy and felt for the non existent pulse. A tear fell down his cheek splashing on Daffyd's head.

Arthur helped him up. He leant over Daffyd and snapped the arrow shaft and Merlin drew it our of the boy's body. They rolled Daffyd in his squires' cloak and carried him off the road into a rocky area. They placed his body on the rocks and returned to the road. Arthur blazed a tree so they could collect his body later.

They backtracked to the river where they found a track, recently used. They followed it on horseback and found the ford. There was a deserted cottage and there they found the bodies of Ulan and Marc laid out on the floor covered with their cloaks.

Arthur was upset by the loss of his future knights. He was worried about Leon. He was experienced and able, what had happened? He decided they would continue riding along the path and circle the area looking for Leon, Roger and Gavin. One of the adults had to have been alive, to have got the bodies back to the cottage.

Sitting upright, Merlin motioned for silence. He had been watching Conker's ears and the horse stopped and looked into the woods, obviously picking up a sound that they were not able to hear. Gidun was also looking in the same direction. There was something there, so both Merlin and Arthur dismounted. Merlin motioning that he was going into the woods. Arthur laid a hand on his shoulder to stop him.

"Please, Merlin, let me go. I can't let you die."

"Arthur, I have no intention of dying. I don't think there are any of Cenred's men here. I am almost certain that it is either one person or a large animal, possibly a deer. So, Dear," he smiled at his pun, "Let me at least reconnoitre the area."

"Be careful. Come back safely..." Arthur was trying to be in his knight mode so refrained from hugging Merlin, but he changed his mind and ended up hugging him anyway.

Merlin moved forward slowly, he closed his eyes to let his magic flood through him. He picked up the breathing of someone to his left, not knowing if it was foe or friend. He turned and tried to figure where the person was. He crept forward thinking, how when he was alone, he was well able to go through the woods silently when he was with people, it was as if he had two left feet. He stopped, he knew he was close as the breathing was loud and laboured. He caught site of a red flash and he was down on his knees reaching out to Leon.

He whispered his name and the eyes opened. Tears filled them when the knight recognised Merlin. He whispered, "Arthur?"

Merlin nodded, "Safe 'n' sound and waiting for you! Can you move?"

The knight nodded and Merlin straightened his legs and helped him stand. Stand he could, but moving forward under his own steam was not possible. He leant on Merlin who was glad he was wiry and strong as he slowly helped him.

Merlin whistled softly, knowing that if Arthur was with the horses. Gidun would react to his whistle and notify Arthur that he was coming. Next thing he knew, Arthur was beside him holding Leon up as they made their way to the path.

Merlin made Leon sit on a rock and removed his helmet. It had a big dent in it and a corresponding bump and blood on his head. Leon remembered running to one of the other squires who was crying. He never got there as he fell. Arthur looked at the helmet, the damage was unlikely to have been made by a rock, more likely a fleeting blow from an axe or a sword.

Running his hand over Leon's limbs, Merlin found no apparent problems. Leon mentioned a sore back but seemed to be mobile enough to get onto Conker, accompanied by a couple of choice four-lettered words and grunts. "Sorry, Sire," he said, "But it's damned sore."

Arthur and Merlin doubled up on Gidun who glanced around at the extra weight but accepted it with a flick of his tail. Merlin just wanted to put his head onto Arthur's shoulder and make it all go away. Three hours ago, this day had been fun and full of promise. He slipped his hands under Arthur's jacket and held onto him. Arthur returned the hug by keeping his hand on Merlin's leg as they led Leon back to the cottage.

Leon knew about the bodies inside the cottage as he had put them there. He was worried about the two missing boys and Roger.

Merlin got him seated on a bedroll and Arthur gently said, "Daffyd died this afternoon. He told us Roger was dead but you and Gavin were alive. He had been shot in the chest at close range and we found him wandering."

Arthur said, "Merlin, we will stay here tonight. We can bring Daffyd here and hopefully find Sir Roger and Gavin." Leon agreed that having the three bodies here made sense, assuring them that they should go, as he would be alright.

They left him and backtracked to the blazed tree. They carried the body to the road and Arthur helped Merlin get Daffyd's body over the front of Gidun's saddle. Merlin mounted and pulled Daffyd back to rest on his knees. Gidun snorted a bit but Merlin spoke to him and he settled. Arthur got back on the chestnut and the trio made their way back to Leon.

Leon had tears in his eyes as they unloaded the body and laid it with the others in the cottage. He had been responsible for the boys and to date, he'd lost three out of the four. He would be on the carpet in front of Uther trying to explain what had happened. Now, he was really worried about Gavin, this would be his second night in the woods alone if he were still alive.

It was already getting chilly, so Merlin went off the find firewood. He let his magic take over and concentrated on the young squire. He was getting feedback but couldn't pinpoint the location. He thought, 'Hang on, Gavin, I'm coming for you as soon as it's light.' He didn't tell Arthur about his feelings that at least Gavin was still alive as it would have been too difficult to come up with a convincing lie. They sat in front of the fire.

Merlin used some of the supplies for a hot meal and they drank water. The discussed the plans for tomorrow.

The Council knew where they had been going. They would be expected back by tomorrow. A search party would be sent if they didn't arrive by the following morning. Leon explained that there had been rumours of skirmishes with Cenred's men and the local villages. Uther planned to send out a party to patrol the area. Figuring it was probably a one off, he'd decided to let Sir Leon go as it would be a change from his usual duties, he chose Sir Roger to accompany him and four young squires. It would be good practice for them and they needed the exposure. He would be shocked to hear the results of Cenred's men's foray. Arthur knew that Camelot would retaliate...

Arthur considered sending Merlin ahead of them to bring back a search party and a conveyance for the bodies. He was worried about enemy knights wandering in the woods. He was loathe to let Merlin out of his sight for that long. He didn't think Leon was well enough to make the ride alone. He thought, 'I'll sleep on it.'

They laid all the boys across one wall. Leon's head was giving Merlin some concern but the bleeding had stopped. He had no suitable medical supplies to do anything about it. He brought in some river water and boiled it and put in a little salt and carefully dabbed the area trying to see if there were any other contusions. Leon said that if he hadn't known it were Merlin, he would have thought it was Gaius. Merlin smiled, "I guess all the running around that I do for him is paying off."

They put a bedroll near the fire for Leon and Arthur told him to try to get some sleep. "Merlin and I are going to go over everything before we turn in." Then he said, "If you need anything during the night just wake my capable manservant!" He turned and gave Merlin a huge grin.

"Arthur, that's not that funny. Leon would much prefer to be waited on by his crown prince than by a lowly manservant. Wouldn't you Leon?"

Leon smiled sadly.

Merlin and Arthur sat against the wall and reviewed their day. Suddenly, Merlin remembered the promise of another night in Cave Two. That was not going to happen. Leon was softly snoring. Merlin looked down at himself and saw the rusty stains of blood. He said, "Arthur, I could do with a bath."

Arthur held him close and promised, "When we get back home, Merlin, I will fill a bath full of hot water and oil of witch hazel, for you to soak in to your heart's content. There will be clean, warmed linens and a blazing fire and a comfortable bed to complete the picture."

"Promises, promises, Arthur...I can see the scenario, the bath, the hot water, the oil, the fire and the warmed linens and none other than the crown prince lounging in the bath! Then, once you are dried and warmly ensconced in bed, I can hear the gracious aside as you snuggle down, 'Oh, Merlin, you could do with a bath, hurry up now before the water gets too cold'... I know you too well, My Love."

Arthur said, "I solemnly promise that I will take you to Cave Two at the earliest possible opportunity. It might not be in the near future as I am sure, we will be attacking Cenred in retaliation for these killings." They set out their bedrolls near each other. Merlin lay down and Arthur, before stretching out on his, leant in for a good night kiss. They lay soberly rehashing the day's events, holding hands.

Merlin thought that in times of great distress, sometimes a little magic is needed. He thought Daffyd, Marc and Alun would understand. He once again told Gavin, 'Stay where you are, I haven't forgotten you!' He tried to make contact with Sir Roger but he was sure that he must be dead as there was no feedback when he talked to him. Trust Arthur and he, to walk into this mess and luckily for Sir Leon and hopefully, Gavin that they had.


	12. Chapter 12

**CHAPTER 12 : NOTHING VENTURED NOTHING GAINED**

Merlin woke to someone calling his name. Thinking it was, Leon he sat up but both Leon and Arthur were fast asleep. He closed his eyes which were golden and thought, 'Gavin, keep yourself safe, I'll be there once it's light.'

Merlin quietly saddled Gidun and walked away leaving a visibly upset Conker.

The light and a horse whinnying, woke Arthur and he turned to reach for Merlin and came up with empty arms. He sat up, he must have just gone outside. Leon was sleeping peacefully. He'd been very restless during the night. Merlin had got up to check on him as he was obviously having nightmares. He had a lot to face today. He waited for Merlin to return. He wasn't used to waking up in the morning all alone and he didn't like it. He meant to stay awake but he fell back asleep...

Merlin and Gidun made their way back along the river to the road where they had first seen Daffyd.

He walked slowly along, the reins loose on Gidun's neck watching his ears. Merlin was trying to carry on a conversation with Gavin but he was picking up nothing. He rode for another hour and stopped. He had an impression that he was in the right area but couldn't pinpoint anything. He suddenly realised that Gidun was on the other side of the road and looked down to see that he had crossed over to avoid stepping on a bloodied arrow. He stopped and slid off the horse; he backtracked and saw an area of trampled grasses, someone had walked off the track into the woods.

Merlin encouraged Gidun to follow him into the woods and found a path. It could be a game trial but it could also have been used by people. He mounted and again with loose reins allowed Gidun to make his way along it. Suddenly the horse stopped staring into the trees and as Merlin glanced in that direction, a handsome buck crossed the path giving him a start. Merlin took the opportunity to again try to contact Gavin. Surely, he would be awake by now. Merlin felt a shiver go through him and he knew he was close by but couldn't see anything. He dismounted, tied Gidun to a tree and called very softly, "Gavin, Gavin, I'm here..."

Gavin, heard the voice and started to cry, he was thirteen years old and had spent two nights in the woods alone, unable to move and he thought he heard someone calling him. He listened again, last night he had heard the Prince's manservant telling him that he was going to find him, but it was only a dream. He heard rustling and worried that it might be a boar or something that would attack him. He wanted his mother so much, even more than he wanted his father. He closed his eyes and tried to remember what she looked like. He heard his name, he felt a hand on him and opened his eyes and saw Merlin.

Gavin was caught with his head downhill on a bank of a muddy ditch. His legs were under roots and through kicking he had made the depression deeper and caused a mini cave-in.

Merlin crawled to his head. He seemed lucid but was in an awkward position to see Merlin. Before considering moving him, he told him that he was going to check to see if he had any broken bones. He assured Merlin he didn't. It was just that his legs were caught and he had a pain in his thigh from where the arrow had caught him.

Merlin pulled the torn trousers apart and saw the wound; it was no longer bleeding and seemed to be only a flesh wound. He knelt beside Gavin running his hands over his arms, shoulders and legs. He was satisfied he could be moved.

It was easier said than done. Merlin thought by checking the sun that it must have taken him an hour to almost release one leg but suddenly in a flurry of dirt the leg flew loose, the booted foot smacking Merlin in the face. He yelled, "Shit!" grabbing his face. He was quiet for a couple of moments, then shook his head and brushed dirt off his face.

Gavin was most apologetic, he started to cry, "I didn't do it purposely, Merlin."

Merlin laughed, "I know you didn't. Don't worry. I've been kicked worse by horses, when I was learning to ride."

"Yes, but not by a Squire!" He said hoping that he wouldn't get into any trouble.

Merlin laughed, "We'll tell everyone at home, that Arthur got cross with me and he did it."

Gavin thought that was funny as he knew that Arthur was Merlin's friend.

Merlin slid the other leg out, supporting Gavin until the blood flowed back into his legs. He knew it must have hurt. Arthur had once lain on his arm nearly all night and the pain when he had tried to move it the next morning had been excruciating.

After what seemed like ages, he had Gavin sitting at the top of the bank, thrilled to be upright again. He said, "Merlin, I dreamt of you yesterday. You said that you'd come to find me. Then last night when I was really frightened, I heard you again. Wasn't that strange?"

"Yes," Merlin said smiling, "Dreams can seem so real. O.K, let's see if we can get you up on your feet and get to my horse, then we'll go find Leon."

"Is Daffyd with him? He was really hurt and made me go ahead to find someone to help us. I was going cross country as I thought I'd heard a cow. I left the arrow on the road just in case Sir Leon came. He'd know what it meant." He looked at Merlin and smiled, "And you did too."

Merlin figured it would be soon enough for Gavin to find out about his friends when he got him to Leon. So, he said, "Daffyd's with Leon."

Gavin got up on Gidun and Merlin scrambled up behind him. He put his arms around him and they trotted on the road in the direction of the river.

* * *

><p>Arthur was in a real state, Merlin was nowhere to be found and Gidun was gone. He turned to Leon, "What's the idiot done now? Has he gone off searching for Sir Roger and the other boy? Now, what do we do?"<p>

Leon suggested that they give him until noon, "We don't know when he left. If we leave and he comes back with either Gavin or Roger, then what will he do, Sire?"

"Arthur, Leon... Arthur! We need not stand on ceremony here, it's just us! Do you mind staying here? I'm taking the horse to ride back to where we found Daffyd, maybe he thinks that Roger and Gavin are near there."

Leon stood alone in the cottage doorway and watched Arthur ride away. He turned and stood looking at the squires' bodies and remembered each boy, feeling overwhelmed at what had happened on this supposedly safe exercise. Once they found Roger and Gavin, they could start back to Camelot. Please God, they were alive.

Merlin and Gavin were now cantering for long stretches. Gavin was in pain from his wound which had started bleeding again. They slowed to a walk and he told Merlin what he had remembered, "Sir Leon was with me and Daffyd, Sir Roger with Alun and Marc. He got upset because we were all fooling and weren't paying attention to him and the next thing, Alun screamed. I thought Sir Roger had hit him but then..." He stopped, "... Merlin, there was an arrow through his neck and he was on the ground, thrashing about and then he stopped."

He became upset, so Merlin said, "Take your time. You've been such a brave boy. Prince Arthur will be so proud of you and so pleased to see you." Merlin decided that he wouldn't ask anything else.

Gidun's head went up and he whinnied, to be answered by a horse around the bend. Arthur came cantering up relieved to see Merlin and happy to see the surviving squire. He dismounted and grabbed Merlin's leg. "Why did you leave without telling me? Didn't you think, I had the right to know? You idiot!"

Merlin said, "Arthur, please let go, you're hurting me!"

Arthur looked, he had Merlin's thigh in a vice grip, It was a mixture of relief and retaliation for being left to worry. "Merlin, ... I thought that you had..." He relaxed his hand but didn't remove it, he felt he needed to hang onto him, he couldn't bear the thought of losing him. He'd sat with Leon worrying and imagining all the awful things that would happen if Merlin was taken by Cenred's men. "Look at your face...Who hit you? "

Merlin felt Gavin cringe so he gave his arm a squeeze saying, "You know me, Arthur, I walked into a tree!" He felt there was no need to embarrass Gavin right now. He'd tell Arthur later...as it was quite funny in retrospect, that is if he was still talking to him as he was sure there would be a lovely bruise on his thigh.

Arthur came to his senses and let go of Merlin's leg. He looked up and smiled at Gavin. "Are you alright? Was Sir Roger with you?" It was too much for Gavin, the prince actually speaking to him, so he dropped his head shyly.

"He was with Daffyd and Sir Leon. Daffyd told him to go ahead." Merlin shook his head hoping that the message would get through Arthur's thick skull not to say anything about his being dead.

Arthur told Gavin to ride Conker and he would double up with Merlin. As they mounted Gidun, Merlin whispered to Arthur, "Just keep your hands to yourself because otherwise, prince or no prince, I'll give you a really sharp jab in your ribs."

'Ugh-Oh!' thought Arthur, 'This doesn't sound too promising...' Arthur acted as a real gentleman just balancing behind Merlin and only touching him as Gidun transitioned from trot to canter and back again.

Soon they reached the little path going to the cottage. They could see Leon in the distance, a hand shading his eyes against the sun, waving at them. Merlin thought that he wouldn't want to be Leon explaining to Gavin that his three friends were dead and Sir Roger still missing.

They pulled up and Gavin slipped off Conker hurrying to Leon who held out his arms. Once he was safe with the knight who had been responsible for him on this exercise, he started sobbing anew. Leon walked him down the path a little way and sat with him on a log. Arthur and Merlin left Leon, explaining to him that he was the only surviving squire.

Merlin looked at Arthur, he was upset and he knew that these deaths would weigh on him heavily in his position of Crown Prince and Commander of the Knights. Usually, Arthur would talk frankly with Merlin about his feelings remembering the old adage 'a problem shared is a problem halved'. He couldn't this time as they were not alone so he kept his feelings and worries to himself and dealt with Leon on a strictly professional basis as a confrere.

Merlin took his sleeve and pulled him to the far side of the cottage. He looked at Arthur sympathetically and shrugged his shoulders.

"Are you still going to jab me?" Merlin shook his head. "I would have gone with you..." Arthur scowled verging on a full blown sulk.

"No, you wouldn't have because I had no intention of taking you. You were safer with Leon at least he had a sword and could defend you."

"Merlin, I am the commanding officer of all the knights, I get to make decisions not you. How do you think I would have felt if you had never returned?"

"But I did and I intend to make your life a misery especially if you have bruised my thigh with your meaty hands! I'll be damaged goods! As Gaius would say, 'Arthur, what were you thinking of and in front of Gavin?' Wouldn't he?"

"I was just relieved seeing you and then...the relief turned into anger...for hours, I had imagined the worst possible scenarios. I was angry...I really didn't realise I was hurting you so much. I'm sorry Merlin."

"I'll tell you how sorry you have to be when I see my leg!" Merlin smiled, he knew that Arthur was telling the truth it was relief, followed by anger and then remorse. Arthur seldom lost his temper but these were extenuating circumstances. He had already forgiven him but he intended to play it for what it was worth.

"Maybe it will match your eye!"

"Very funny, Arthur."

Merlin decided to tell the story of Gavin's dream so that Arthur wouldn't go on about it, if Gavin later mentioned it. Arthur said, "He had his mother watching over him even in his dreams."

He sounded so sad, possibly remembering that there had been no mother to look after him. Merlin peaked around the corner of the cottage and saw that Leon was still trying to talk to Gavin. Poor kid, it would take a long time to get over the past few days. Merlin put his arms around Arthur and snuggled into his neck, Arthur relaxed and Merlin, nipped him with his teeth. "Oops!" He whispered, "Sorry, how did that happen? Maybe someone else will have a bruise as well now."

Arthur spun him around against the wall and very gently ran his fingers over Merlin's cheek which was already turning an ugly shade of purple and had a nasty scratch through it. "Gaius had better check that when we get back as I wouldn't want you less than perfect would I? Shame we're on a military mission as I could think of something fun to do right now."

Merlin shoved him away, not trusting himself. "You still owe me a night at Cave Two, don't forget."

Both of them realised that the chances of finding Sir Roger alive were nil. Merlin had had no success mentally locating him. He also knew that they had to get Leon and Gavin back to Camelot. Arthur decided that Gidun would take Leon and him, with Merlin doubling up with Gavin on Conker.

"Boy, you sure know how to break a fellow's heart, Arthur."

Arthur smiling swung to clip him for being cheeky and remembering his black eye dropped his hand instead.

Merlin laughed and said, "...And I should think so!"

Arthur walked over to Leon while Merlin went and checked the food supplies which were left.

Merlin got the fire going again as it was getting cold. He placed Gavin close to it with his back to the bodies and chatted to him as he made supper. Merlin hadn't had much to do with the squires except see them at training and running messages around the castle. It was nice to have a proper chat with one of them.

Arthur and Leon sat talking about their plans. They should be able to make Camelot in one day if they started early. Leon had seen their assailants and seconded Gavin's words that they were Cenred's men. They both relealised that battles were going to ensue with possibly more loss of life but Camelot would not accept the deaths of three squires and possibly a knight without metering out punishment.

They ate an early supper and as it was still light, Merlin and Arthur went out to check the area to the east of the cottage towards were Alun and Marc had been found to see if they could find any trace of Roger. Merlin hated bushwhacking especially with a tender face as he seemed to be slapped continually by sharp branches and twigs. He and Arthur split up, keeping in touch by talking and trying to cover as much of the area as they could. The setting sun was casting long shadows, when Arthur suddenly called, "Over here, Merlin!"

Merlin changed direction and headed for him, he was kneeling on the ground beside the body of a knight in Cenred's colours. Ten feet away, sitting at the bottom of an oak tree was Roger, dead. Arthur was visibly upset. He collected both the sword and the cloak off the assailant and picked up Roger's sword which he still had at his side.

Arthur said, "Merlin, we can't leave him here, he has to go home to Camelot. Could you get Gidun in here?"

"I could try, he's pretty handy in the woods. You stay with him, keep Roger's sword. I'll take this cloak and sword back to Leon. We'll need it as proof for Uther. Oops! Am I over stepping my position again, Arthur?"

Arthur smiled sadly, "No, it's fine. Get back fast as it will soon get dark."

"Scared of the dark, are we?" said Merlin, as he melted into the underbrush.

"Yes, a little..." said Arthur to himself and went to sit next to Roger's body.

It seems hours later that Arthur heard Merlin talking to Gidun and encouraging him to walk through the dense thicket. He'd brought some of the straps from Billy's tack and they were able to hoist Roger's body up on the horse and tie it down. The sad procession made it way back to the cottage.

Leon was visibly upset to see his dead friend. He had told Gavin, who was now huddled near the fire with a tear stained face. Merlin knew it was frightening for the squire to know that a knight was dead, they were brave and strong men. They weren't supposed to die like this. Merlin hoped that he'd be able to get through these few bad days. Hard enough when you are an adult but it must be horrendous for a young teen.

They placed Sir Roger's body with the squires. Merlin put Gavin's bedroll between his and Leon's; telling him to wake him if he needed to talk or had any bad dreams.

Before Merlin, Arthur and Leon had finished talking, Gavin was fast asleep and finally when the adults dropped off, Merlin felt him curl into his back with an arm over him. Merlin's heart went out to him. He thought, 'Gavin, sleep tight, see you in the morning.' He reached over for Arthur's hand and fell asleep...


	13. Chapter 13

**CHAPTER 13 : THE QUIET BEFORE THE STORM**

It was a sad group which left the cottage at dawn the following morning. They had blocked the door to stop marauding animals from entering the cottage. They'd had an early bite to eat, food that was more suited to dinner and then they had mounted up and left. They had three swords between them.

Gavin felt wretched and hung onto Merlin tightly as they rode double. The deaths of his friends had hit him hard, he hadn't wanted to leave them but Merlin had led him to Conker, insisting that he climb up behind him once he had mounted. Arthur had decided that he should be sent home with the proviso that he could return whenever he felt able. He needed his mother and father.

'Mind you,' Arthur thought looking at how Gavin was clinging to Merlin, 'He's a pretty good substitute at the moment.' Merlin's generous and kind nature was obvious to most people in trouble. He couldn't resist saying to him, "You make a lovely mother hen."

Merlin turned to him clucking and made a face at him, while Sir Leon laughed. The shock of the last two days was beginning to diminish. They knew that Cenred's kingdom would be punished for the four deaths. Camelot would exact retribution. Merlin hoped that it was knight against knight, soldier against soldier and not the massacre of one of Cenred's villages, with innocent children, women and men.

* * *

><p>The search party was ready to leave Camelot early morning, as the patrol with Sir Leon, Sir Roger and four squires was more than twelve hours overdue. They hoped to meet them on the way. Sir Rupert was leading nine knights.<p>

Uther did not feel that there would have been any trouble on the border, but he was worried as Arthur and that manservant were also a day late. Maybe, the Earl had asked them to stay longer. He had confidence in Arthur's ability but if that idiot of a manservant had got them into any trouble, he would personally, string him up!

It was a beautiful autumn day and the knights and their horses swirled out of the courtyard in a wave of scarlet and metal. They would push their horses as fast as possible to reach the little hamlet of Redmud by noon; then rest and continue on to Wyeford in the afternoon.

Gaius was worried about Merlin and Arthur. He felt very uneasy that the two parties should be missing in the same region. It didn't bode well, as far as he was concerned. He noticed that Uther was under stress as well. "Sire, I'm sure Arthur will arrive today. He probably spent a couple of extra days in Mancunium."

Uther said, "I have every confidence he will return safely. I've sent a knight up Kenelm Tor and once he sights Arthur, he is to ride directly here. We will ready waiting for him in the courtyard when he returns. He should have a welcoming party as it was his first mission as Diplomatic Envoy and he will be carrying important papers."

* * *

><p>The Prince's party was traveling slowly but comfortably. Arthur was hoping that the only delays would be because the horses needed breaks.<p>

By noon, the search party had reached Redmud. They stopped, watered the horses and sat around resting.

By noon the Prince's party was half way to Redmud. They had already taken two breaks as both riders and horses needed them. Gavin's thigh hurt him and not surprisingly, Leon had a headache. They were able to get some bread and apples and the farmer allowed them to water their horses. It was a sad little group which sat under the bare apple trees watching the horses and hearing the geese flying overhead.

Both groups mounted up and continued their march towards each other. It was Gidun who gave notice of the approaching horses and as his head went up, Gavin spotted the red cloaks and started yelling nearly unseating Merlin who was miles away. The Prince's party stopped and dismounted and soon it was surrounded by brother knights. Their shocked faces betrayed their disbelief that only two members of the patrol were present. Arthur and Leon went to Rupert and talked to the other knights. Merlin explained to the three knights who were left, hanging onto the horses that Sir Roger, Daffyd, Alun and Marc had not survived a run in with Cenred's forces.

Arthur came back and told Merlin that they were going to take three horses and yes, that Conker and Gidun could be two of them and leave immediately for Camelot with a guard of four knights.

Against Arthur's better judgement, Leon had insisted on leading the remaining knights back to the cottage to retrieve the bodies. He understood that he felt responsible for the four lost lives but he had been wounded and Arthur would have preferred to take him back with his group.

Gavin took Conker, Merlin rode Gidun and Arthur with typical princely arrogance, took the best horse available. He spoke briefly with Leon, then led his party with four knights towards Camelot. At this point, Merlin was longing to see the turreted spires... and Gaius!

Gidun saw Arthur in the lead and pushed his way through until he was next to him. Arthur glanced at him and smiled at Merlin... "We're stopping in Redmud to arrange for a farmer with a wagon to drive back to meet the knights once they have the bodies. You're good in sales, offer him a small silver coin for the use of his horse and wagon plus the same for his time, tell him he will be given double that amount when he arrives at Camelot with Rupert and Leon. Merlin, remember, don't take no for an answer."

Merlin said, "I'm good selling to ladies but not bargaining for services."

Under the noise of horses' hoof beats, jingling tack and quiet voices, Arthur leant over laughing, "Well, I seem to remember your bargaining exceptionally well in the bedroom. Begging even!"

"Arthur!" An attractive blush crept up Merlin's cheeks to meet his black eye, "You're incorrigible. Why do you think you are the centre of the universe?"

"Because you do, Merlin my love. You orbit me like a moth around a flame. Careful, you don't get burnt!"

"Don't worry about me, watch out for your fingers when you light the candle...prat!" Merlin took off at a canter and the others followed. They could see ahead, the thatched cottages in the hamlet of Redmud.

True to his word, Merlin arranged for a wagon. They saw it leave on its journey. Merlin smiled in satisfaction. Now he was not only a salesman but a negotiator. He was well pleased with himself...

Arthur pulled him aside saying quietly, "As soon as possible, upon our return, I want you to notify Sir Rodik that Daffyd died. He has my permission to leave immediately to escort his brother's body back to Camelot with Sir Leon's party. Tell him of my sorrow at Daffyd's death. We'll talk to him more fully and explain how brave and helpful the boy was, when things settle down there.

There were times when Merlin could see the caring spirit that was part and parcel of Arthur and this was one example.

The wife of the farmer had offered to share bread and stew with them. She and her husband had come upon good fortune at the expense of others. They ate in the farm yard in silence; Merlin slipped her, his last piece of ribbon as they left. She smiled shyly at him.

Arthur just shook his head and raised his eyebrows. "Keep that up, Merlin, and you might have second thoughts and switch sides!"

Merlin looked at him and gave an almost innocent grin and shook his head. "Never!" he said, which melted Arthur's heart. He hated being unable to act naturally with Arthur. He just wanted his arm around him and to know that he was there but they were in the company of knights not Gaius, Lancelot and Leon. He thought, 'Please, let everything be back to normal tonight...'

They trotted on in silence. Gavin becoming noticeably brighter the further away they were from the site of the attack, chatting away with one of the older knights.

* * *

><p>As the sun was beginning to set, Sir Llewyn picked out a group of red cloaked Camelot knights escorting three civilians. He then realised one of them was Arthur, the other Merlin and a squire; he spurred his horse down the track racing for the castle, fifteen minutes away. He galloped flat out over the final pasture below the castle, only slowing to trot through the lower town, through the portcullis and into the courtyard, yelling, "The Prince is on his way!" His cry was picked up by the Captain of the Guard who ran up the stairs to pass the message to another guard and it was relayed to the Council Chamber where Uther and his advisors were gathered.<p>

Uther and Gaius stood up relieved. They knew it would be at least a half hour before the others reached Camelot. Uther went back to his chambers to change and Gaius wandered down to his chambers, to brew some tea. He intended being on the steps in the courtyard to get his first glimpse of Merlin.

Uther, Gaius, the advisors and various staff members were in high spirits. They chatted excitedly. Finally after what seemed like hours Arthur appeared in the portcullis and slowly rode across the courtyard. Uther's face fell, he could read his son's body language, the mission had been a failure; no papers were exchanged.

Arthur dismounted as did the knights. They were all so solemn. He walked forward and knelt in front of his father. "Sire, I have papers for you from the Earl." He handed the safely guarded packet to one of the advisors. Uther's expression brightened. "But," Arthur continued, "I have bad news..."

Uther motioned Arthur to stand, "What happened?" He glanced at the knights they all seemed alright; that manservant as well, but why did he have his arm around the shoulders of a young squire. How dare he? Hasn't he yet figured his place in the ranks. Uther glared at him but he just pulled the boy closer.

"Sire, Cenred's men attacked the patrol party, one knight and three squires are dead. Gavin, here is the sole survivor of the squires."

Uther's face dropped. "Which knight, damn it, Arthur?" He had sent Leon to give him a break from regular council and castle duties.

"Sir Roger of Whitlock, Sire!"

Uther looked around, "...and where, pray tell, is Leon?"

"He has returned with Rupert and some knights to escort the bodies back to Camelot."

"Couldn't someone else have done that?"

"It was his request, Father, as it had been his patrol. He had also received a mild head injury."

Arthur noticed Gaius, he bowed to his father, turned and said to the court physician. "Gavin here, has an arrow wound and Merlin a damaged cheek, could you see to them, please Gaius." Uther nodded to Gaius who tutted and beckoned them to follow him.

Uther turned telling Arthur and the knights to follow him up the stairs; grooms stepped forward to take the horses. The much anticipated return was tinged with sorrow but Uther was glad that Arthur and Leon were safe.

Gaius could hardly contain his curiosity. He would get all the information from Merlin whose face had looked colourful but was hopefully not infected.

Merlin explained that first, he had a message to deliver from Arthur to Sir Rodik before the names of the squires were made public. He told Gaius that Sir Rodik's little brother Daffyd had been killed and Arthur didn't want him to hear that news from anyone else.

Gaius put the kettle on the hook to boil. Gavin seemed anxious which wasn't surprising but Gaius went into his child patient mode. He said "Well, who do we have here and what seems to have happened?" Gavin, picking up on Gaius's demeanor, relaxed immediately.

Gaius had him remove his trousers which were bloody and dirty and examined the wound. It was on the outside of his thigh and no bone seemed to have been chipped. He spread the wound and tutted. "Now, you lie here and we'll wait for the kettle to boil and for Merlin to return. Did he look after you well?

By the time Merlin got back, the water had boiled. He said, "Rodik has left to join the cortege."

"How was he?"

"Shocked and very upset, but the ride will give him time to come to terms with the awful reality. He will also have to notify his parents later on but I would think that Arthur will give him time off to visit them. I told him he would, hope I didn't put my foot in it!"

"Won't be the first time or probably the last time, if you have. Don't worry about that now." Gaius turned to Gavin, "Now, let me check Merlin's face. Well, what have you been up to? Fighting? Not like you, my boy?"

Merlin said, repeating the story he fed Arthur, "I walked into a tree..."

"No, he didn't, I kicked him in the face and I'm very, very sorry but I couldn't help it..." said a little voice from the cot.

"Well, maybe one of you, might like to explain exactly what happened," said Gaius.

Gavin spoke up so Merlin let him explain his fall, his trapped legs and how his boot flew up when Merlin got his leg loose and hit him in the face and...

He continued, "Merlin yelled, 'Shit!' but that was alright as I had really hurt him."

Merlin grinned at Gaius and shrugged his shoulders. Gaius said, "Well, that wasn't a very nice thing to say was it, Gavin?"

"... and you know Alun was shot in the neck with an arrow and he died; Marc got a sword in his back and he died; and Daffyd had an arrow right through his chest and he died; ... and I had an arrow in my leg and I pulled it out."

"Did you say shit as well? Come on Gavin, tell the truth," said Merlin trying to lighten up the conversation.

"No! I said a worse word which the knights use when things go wrong when they are training."

Gaius stifled a laugh and Merlin just grinned at Gavin. Gaius made him take something to sedate him before he worked on his leg. He checked Merlin and said he'd live but had him wash his cheek with warm soapy water and put some salve on it. He told him to sit down and have a drink. Arthur wouldn't need him for some time.

Gavin was more relaxed and Gaius told him, "You will be staying the night in these chambers but if you want, you could sleep in Merlin's little room up those three stairs." Merlin nodded smiling at him.

"But Merlin, where will you sleep?"

"No problem, I'll sleep in Arthur's room, there's a little cot there."

Gavin was getting sleepy his eyes closing. Gaius looked at Merlin and said quietly, "... cot? Not talking are we?" Merlin blushed and nodded towards Gavin. Gaius raised his eyebrows and laughed. He then went to get the instruments, needed to clean the wound. Merlin brought over the warm water and Gaius set to work.

Only once, the wound was bandaged and Gaius had been brought up to date on all that had happened, did Merlin make a move to leave. "Thanks for the drink, I'll see him tomorrow morning. Poor kid, he's had a rough time of it. I'm glad to be home, Gaius,"

"I bet you are... and I'm glad to see you back, safe and sound." Gaius gave him a hug. "Goodnight and remember it's the little cot for you!" Gaius closed the door chuckling and Merlin smiling, walked to Arthur's chambers...


	14. Chapter 14

**CHAPTER 14 – AND IN THE LAND OF NOD AT LAST (R L Stevenson) **

Merlin returned to Arthur's chambers. He presumed Arthur would return to change before supper. He washed and changed his bloodied clothes, choosing something from the chest where Arthur had had him replace all the clothes which he had tried on previously. 'Was it only ten days ago?' he sighed as it felt like a year. He found a cream linen tunic with a blue wool jacket, then grey trousers caught his eye. He tried everything on, liked it and felt ready to meet the world.

He walked down to the Council Chamber and asked the guard if any mention had been made of supper. The guard went in to talk to his superior and returned saying the supper would be taken at the usual time in the Dining Hall.

Merlin arranged for buckets of hot water to be sent to Arthur's chambers. He returned there as he knew Arthur would want to change and expect him to be there to help him dress, before supper. He had the servants fill the bath but held back a bucket which he covered and placed near the fire to keep hot. Within ten minutes of the water arriving, the door opened and a tired looking Arthur came in. He took in Merlin's outfit, grinned and said, "You're a sight for tired eyes!"

"Sight or not, Sire," he laughed, "You've got to bathe and change for supper." He topped up the bath with the hot water and handed Arthur a washcloth. He left the linens near the fire to keep warm. "What do you want to wear?"

"Nothing special," he said as he relaxed in the bath, "Just something clean, I feel dirty and sticky, haven't changed since Mancunium. My father raised his eyes at my clothes during the meeting. How he expected me to change when he didn't give me any time, I don't know."

Merlin laid out suitable clothes on the bed then sat there talking as Arthur bathed.

Arthur said, "Did you get to Rodik in time?"

"It was frightening, he was so upset, he said that he realised you couldn't come to tell him yourself but he thanked you. Before I left him, he was already getting organized to leave for Redmud hoping to meet up with Leon's group. I also told him that he would have time off to notify his parents? Was that alright? I know you're the Commander of all the Chief Cooks and Bottle Washers, but hopefully, I didn't overstep the line again, did I?"

"As long as you're in front of me, you will never cross the line. It's when you are not with me that I get scared you will do something that will results in your getting hurt. Please, Merlin my love, never put me in the position in which Rodik and his family now finds itself."

He smiled at him and whispered. "You need me too much, Prat, for me to do anything that would deprive you of my presence and professional ministrations!"

Grinning at him, Arthur finished with the bath, so Merlin handed him the warmed linens then once he dried himself off, helped him with his clothes.

Arthur smiled and ruffled his hair, softly tracing the bruise on his cheek, "What did Gaius say about your face and how is Gavin?"

"Gaius said that you had a wicked right hook and he worked on Gavin's leg. He's in my bed at Gaius's."

Arthur looked at Merlin longingly and said quietly almost to himself, "Lucky him!"

Picking up on it, Merlin said, "Don't be like that. He needed all the attention which I gave him and you did say that Gawaine's hugs were for the needy so I did the same. He's a nice little kid...sorry you were jealous as I didn't have much opportunity to hug you too but I would have, you know that." He smiled and ran his fingers up Arthur's chest but then continued seriously, "I was really upset by what happened to the other boys. Will Camelot retaliate?" He kept his hand on the back of Arthur's head, making little circles with his fingers.

"Yes! But I really don't want to talk about it now. I'll tell you later." Arthur let Merlin kiss him but then got hold of his wrists. "If we want to get to supper before all the food has gone, pay attention to where your hands are wandering!"

Grinning, Merlin said, "I've missed having you close to me, so much," and gave Arthur, an over-exaggerated Gawaine-type hug.

Arthur smiled, saying, "If Uther doesn't call a meeting after supper, we'll have all the evening and night to ourselves. Rupert said that he was going to lead the cortege right through and not make any stopovers, but I told him to sleep out, arriving in daylight tomorrow morning so the bodies can be given a fitting welcome. Do you think that Gavin should be there?"

"Yes, certainly! He should be with the Squire Master and maybe the Head Squire to officially welcome the bodies of his friends. He deserves the recognition. He's a brave boy and who better to represent them."

Arthur was ready and they walked through the halls together. Merlin asked, "Was your father surprised about Cenred's men?"

"I don't think anything which Cenred does would surprise my father. No love lost there! He's going to be vicious in his attacks. Bad enough about Roger but he's furious about the boys which is really surprising as he had no time for me when I was growing up."

Merlin once again realised how important a father's attention is for his son. From what he knew, it was Gaius who had filled that position during Arthur's formative years and admirably by all accounts. In a strange way, both Arthur and he had been raised in fatherless families but Arthur had the advantage as he had Gaius. Merlin had often wondered what life would have been like growing up having a loving man like Gaius to stand at his side, supporting him from all the teasing, meanness and insecurities of youth. His Mam had done an admirable job but until he was taken in by Gaius he had no experience of fatherly love.

"Earth to Merlin! Earth to Merlin" He came back with a start as Arthur grabbed him... "Where did you go, Problem Child? You almost walked out into space at the top of a flight of stairs. Didn't you hear me holler. Everything, alright?"

"Yes, I was just thinking about Gaius and fathers in general?

They reached the Dining Hall and went in as Uther was just going to his chair and Merlin could have fallen over as Uther nodded at him, such a change as it was usually a scowl or a threat. Arthur turned to him and smiled saying under his breath, "I told him that you had rescued Gavin and helped get Roger and Daffyd's bodies back to the cottage." He raised his eyebrows and said," Now, keep a low profile and he might get through the meal without threatening you with the cells!"

Before the meal, Arthur rose saying, "Please rise. I charge you to raise your glasses in memory of Sir Roger of Whitlock, Squire Alun of Maccasy, Squire Marc of Dunswick and Squire Daffyd of Gloverly. May Camelot be blessed with more brave men and boys as these." They all raised their goblets, resuming their seats as Arthur continued explaining that there would be a Welcoming Ceremony tomorrow, they would gather in the courtyard, once the notification had been received from Llewlyn on Kenelm Tor that the cortege was in view. He requested full regalia for the knights. He asked Sir Osbert to arrange for biers to be placed in the courtyard and to attend to the cemetery details. Satisfied that he had covered all points, he sat down.

Uther turning to those in attendance, "I would, publicly like to thank my son for returning from Mancunium with the Letters of Agreement and making the arrangements for the return of the bodies. I believe some credit also goes to his manservant."

Gaius smiled at Merlin and thought, 'Would it have killed you, Uther, to have actually said Merlin's name?'

Uther continued notifying the council that they would be meeting in the Council Room, one hour from now. Merlin saw Arthur's face fall but he quickly controlled himself, nodding in agreement with his father.

For the serving staff, supper was boring, as the conversation was mostly about manoeuvres and timing.

As they walked back to Arthur's chambers Merlin said, "Look on the bright side_, semper in absentes felicior aestues amantes_."

To which a tired and annoyed Arthur said, "Merlin, stop with the Latin!"

"Very well, my beloved, but among all my varied talents," and he paused to wink at Arthur, "...I have one in translating, so what I had so eloquently said was, 'absence makes the heart grow fonder'!"

To which a disheartened Arthur replied, "...and they also say 'when he is out of sight, quickly also he is out of mind'!"

Merlin checked behind them and gave a cheeky grin as he said, "I have no intention of ever being, either out of your sight or out of your mind, Arthur Pendragon!" Knowing that the corridor was empty, he backed Arthur against the unopened door of their chambers inviting him to an evening of companionship which was to be slightly delayed. He ran his hand up the back of Arthur's head and tilted it up to himself tenderly, then pulled away and said briskly, "Off you go to your meeting, Dear!" giving him a parting pat on his derriere.

Before closing the door, he lowered his eyes assumed a non-threatening demeanor and said huskily, "Keep your manservant on your mind, Arthur!" He closed the door hearing Arthur thump on it in exasperation as he heading to the Council Room.

* * *

><p>When Arthur finally returned around midnight, Merlin was in bed feigning sleep. Arthur not wanting to disturb him, barred the door, undressed and slipped in beside him, leaving candles burning in the stand by the bed. Merlin was unresponsive. Nothing Arthur could do got any reaction from him. His kisses were unreturned and his hugs ignored. His breathing rate remained steady and a little worry crept into Arthur's mind. Was Merlin so exhausted from their trip and the horrendous goings on with Roger and the squires that he had just collapsed into a sleep from which there was no method of rousing him?<p>

Suddenly, in the back of Arthur's mind, a little bird reminded him of Merlin's boasting that first night in Cave Two, that he was capable of pretending to be deeply asleep, as he had pretended to be in Cave One with Arthur and Gawaine.

Arthur thought, 'Well, two can play that game!' He leaned over Merlin and gave him a chaste peck on his cheek, saying softly, "You were so brave during the last few days, sleep tight and wake me in the morning, My Love." He moved himself onto the other side of the bed and turned on his side, thinking, 'I'll give him some time and then ready or not, here I come...'

Lying still, waiting for his bedmate to make the first move was very hard for Arthur. He was more used to an offensive from Merlin, than his having to beg. For what seemed like hours, Merlin never moved. Then he started moaning and he whispered, "Gawaine...oh!...Gawaine!"

Arthur's eyes snapped open, those words had gone straight to his heart and really hurt him. He was furious, when Merlin woke up, he was going to kill him! He couldn't sleep, he finally sat up and glared at Merlin, who was lying there wide awake, looking angelic, his eyes looked right into Arthur's picking up the flickering candlelight, an inviting smile on his face. Arthur raised his eyebrows and shook his head, "Merlin that was mean. You were calling for Gawaine."

"Arthur, I couldn't have achieved the same effect by saying Gidun, could I? Now Gawaine, I knew would get more of a rise out of you. He opened his arms and said, "Come here, Silly. The only time I dream of Gawaine is in battles but when I dream of you, it's..."

Arthur turned, laughing and said, "Remember, what Gaius says, 'Actions speak louder than words'.

Merlin snuggled into him, saying, "Gaius never said that."

"Well, he could have... Is you thigh bruised? What did Gaius say?"

"Well, I couldn't very well tell him, that a certain Crown Prince he knows, had manhandled me so badly that he had left his mark, could I? He would have been up here like a bear when her cub is threatened. Poor you, he would have wiped the floor with you or even skinned you alive. So...I never mentioned it."

"Let me see it."

Merlin rolled over and pulled down the blankets letting him see the nine by eight inch tender looking bruise.

Arthur was shocked by its size and the intensity of the colour. He felt sick. _He'd_ done that to Merlin his best friend. He knew he'd grabbed him hard as he was furious with him; he knew Merlin had told him it hurt; he cringed realising that his anger had resulted in such a bruise. "Oh, Merlin!" was all he could say. "Oh, Merlin, I'm so sorry!"

"I think it looks worse that it feels." Arthur leaned over to touch it but Merlin pulled away saying, "Don't, you'll hurt me. Just leave it, it will be better soon and when all the bruising goes away, I will be almost as good as new."

"Does it really hurt? Maybe we shouldn't..."

"Yes, of course it hurts but I don't think it will be a hindrance. By the way, that's a sore looking bruise on you neck. Do I see bite marks? What happened? Got bitten by a vampire?"

Arthur growled and confessed, he deserved it. "What goes around comes around..."

Merlin chuckled, "Yes, but at least it was done in a loving manner. I bet you got more pleasure out of it at the time than I did mine."

Arthur laughed and said, "I think your reciprocation was valid. Now that the issues have been settled, let's go forward..."

Merlin smiled sweetly, cuddling into Arthur feeling all fuzzy and content saying, "You can be so long-winded and stuffy."

Arthur said, "Well, you see, since I became a Diplomatic Envoy for Camelot, it is expected of me..."

"Reciprocation? I would just have called it 'tit for tat'! I love you, Arthur, don't become like your father. I could never love him!"

"...and I wouldn't expect you to. I am yours alone for life; nobody can separate us. For as long as you want me, I am beside you, come rain or shine."

"Shut up, Arthur, remember actions speak louder than words..."

By the time the last candle was finally spluttering, giving up its light, the prince and the warlock were _'lying fast asleep, and in the Land of Nod..._

Safe and sound in each others arms, dreaming of all the things which two young men could accomplish in their lifetimes.

**FINIS**

**Life in Camelot for Merlin and Arthur, will continue in THINK OF NO ONE ELSE, MY LOVE**

**the sequel to Raining Cats and Lovers and Be On Your Guard, Love **

**Camelot: A kingdom where to stay alive, love must be hidden, even denied.**


End file.
